IT'S NEVER EASY.. FOR THOSE LEFT BEHIND

Lay your burdens in His hands,
for He is strong.
Rest your head on His shoulders,
for He is compassionate.
Give to Him your pain and sorrow,
He is love.
Pray that His love will comfort your sorrowing soul.

I just talked to Maria (my cousin's wife from Ohio) and she had just passed me then news of her father's death. Actually I had talked to Rezal a few hours earlier when everybody was at his in-law's house. Maria's dad had been unconscious since last Friday and he lost his sight a week ago.. then when he gained consciousness he could only speak and listen as his sons and daughters greeted him.. all of the relatives came from all over the place as they heard the news last week.. from Texas and Florida, as well as those in the Ohio region. He passed away at 4.30am this morning.. two years ago when he had a kidney failure, the doctors predicted that he only had a month to go.. but he proved the doctors wrong, and this time he proved them wrong again when he managed to hang on for a week instead of the one day that the doctor had predicted.. he finally died of old age at the age of 80 years old (His birthday is in March 1923). He is the first generation of Spanish immigrants who came to America.. whenever I visited him before I ended up trying to speak Spanish cause he couldn't understand English.. Usually I get everyone to be my translator but sometimes it feels rude to speak to an elderly in such an indirect manner, so I tried my best.. His funeral ceremony will be held on Wednesday.. I'm not gonna force Maria, Rezal and Adriana to come to the Commencement Ceremony cause I'm sure a 14 hour drive is not exactly what they'd want to go through after an emotional funeral ceremony. If they can't make it I understand.. I think I'm gonna go visit them this summer, it's been over a year since I went to Fremont anyway.

Actually, I had a dream last night that someone very dear to me had passed away.. I woke up sweating, with tears in my eyes and my nose blocked.. I felt that I had spend the first few hours of the morning with a 'snot rag'.. my sneezing symptoms have turned to flu, and so I was really weak this morning.. I only felt better when I heard the voice of my friend, the one who I dreamt had died the night before, on the phone [maybe my telepathic cries were heard]... I took my medicine and fell asleep as the television was playing Walt Disney's classic Beauty and the Beast.. had another nightmare about my parents forcing me to marry one of their friend's son.. they had planned it prior to my knowledge and when I returned home, the house was decorated and my sisters were busy helping my mum in the kitchen.. the guests started coming and I asked around about why they were there... then I went upstair towards my bedroom and found one of my ex trying to hit on me [much to my disgust].. things took a really weird turn when everyone was gathered in the living room and my dad called out my name so that he can make the grand announcement and then as I walked pass the guests, my ex whispered something and I got so mad at him that I told my dad that he was harrasing me, and right there and then my dad got my future husband to arrest him.. it turns out that my parent's friend's son is a policemen.. there wasn't really an ending.. I just couldn't remember what happened next... it was an awful scene !! Now I'm scared to fall asleep again.. I wonder what I'll dream next, it must be influenced by all these drugs I'm taking right now [Tylenol]