SCHOOL AND STUFF....


Currently I am a senior undergrad in the Chemical Engineering and Material Sciences Dept. at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities campus.I am pursuing my Bachelor of Chemical Engineering Degree and my Bachelor of Science Degree in Chemistry simultaneously, and trying to get everything done in 4 years.I have a scholarship from MARA (Majlis Amanah Rakyat)

I started my early education with a 'nenek' who lives five houses down from my house in Malaysia. She held a 'class mengaji' for the kids in the area. I have been reading the 'Muqaddam' with my dad ever since I was three or something but I never took it seriously. Usually I would just repeat whatever he says and try to memorize it. I couldn't really read. I would also memorize the short surahs, the way a toddler does. Cute but not really practical for the future.So then when I started to read with this 'nenek' at 5 years old, there was also kids older than me and I really felt left behind. She said that my tounge was too stiff to pronounce 'rho', it took me months to get it right. Nora, my sister who is a year younger than me also had the same problem, she couldn't pronounce another letter [which I'm not even going to try to spell here, that's just impossible.] Then they built the surau next to our playground and started a 'Sekolah Agama Al-Ikhlas' and everyone transferred to that school cause the teachers were qualified Ustaz and Ustazahs.

That same year, my brother started going to the Villa Maria kindergarten (this word is actually German, meaning 'Children's garden'). So me and Nora always stays home together in the morning while waiting for our 'Abang' to come home so that we would go 'mengaji' together. Two years later, I went to the 'Pertiwi' tadika, and Abang went to 'Sekolah Sri Petaling'. This is when I learned the alphabet, to read, to write, to sing, to share, everything else. I have millions of preschool memories, I could go on forever and ever..But I won't. At least right now... Anyway, I later joined Abang at the same school for my real primary school experience. He was like my guardian, always looking after me. We're so close, his friends are my friends too cause we always hang out together at recess [cause Abah, our dad, always gives us a ringgit to split,.. in those times, you can eat alot for 50 cents. Nasi lemak is 30 cent and you can get ice-cream or drinks for 10 cent, obviously enough for a 15 minit recess break. Plus Mama would always make us bring snacks too].

Regardless of what I just said, I also made lots of new friends. I had my first 'Gang' when I was in standard 2. I At the time, the NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK was a big craze, and there was 5 of us in the gang to match up with the five characters in the pop group. I can still remember their names; Nurul, Fatimah, Alia, Ros and me. Nurul's dad is a headmaster of some school, Fatimah's works in an office or something, Alia's dad is a pilot, Ros's dad is a businessman and my dad was an engineer at the time. You see, SSP (Sekolah Sri Petaling) was like a high reputable primary school in the middle of PJ where the ministers would send their kids to or something. My classmates at the time consist of royalty and famous minister's daughter. Going to their birthday parties feels like going to a formal event, there's the presents and all the fuss of getting a new dress and shoes.[Honestly mum, I'm only 8!]

Anyway, these are the friends I hang out with for the next few years. They obviously influenced me a lot. Alia was my best friend, she's a tall thin girl with curly black hair. Nurul was the wild one, she had her first crush on a boy in our class [Khalid] and always comes to share everything with me. She found out that that guy's best friend [Adib] had a crush on me, and after a while the whole class knows about it cause he kept giving out hints that makes it so obvious to me and the whole class. My class teacher, who happens to be Khalid's mum's bestfriend, also noticed and played along with it. She made Adib seat next to me in class and always made Adib and me demonstate things in class as a pair. For two very shy kids, we're constantly blushing when people look at us.The teachers thought we were cute. Strangely, nobody knew about Nurul's crush on Khalid, except me and the gang.

A year later, my family and I moved to England. I celebrated my 10th birthday on my first day at Armley Middle School.I was in Year 6. Nora was in Year 5 and Abang was in Year 7. The school system here doesn't start from January to December. So instead of being 2 years apart between me and Abang, there was only one year difference cause Abang's birthday is in October.Things were definitely different, and I miss my friends so much but the transition wasn't really hard cause my English proficiency was good, plus I had my family with me. I just had to learn the Cockney accent and adjust to the slangs.

Two years later, I went to West Leeds High School. At the time, west Leeds Boys high School and West Leeds Girls High School was merging to become one school. So the kids going to Year 7 and 8 are in the Girls building along with students in Year 12 and 13 (A level students), while students in Year 9, 10 and 11 are in the Boy's building. West Leeds High School was separated by a rail track and a larger soccer field on both sides of the track. By the time I was done with Year 8, the construction for the new buildings were completed and I didn't have to transfer to the Boys' building. The old Boys' school buildings were going to be turned into a Historical Museum because the school was opened since the early Industrial Revolution in the 15th century or something. I had a little clique thing going again. In Year 8, the gang was me, Christine, Tracy, Richard and Alan. Christine was my best friend. Her cousin is Neil and Neil's sister is Abang's classmate. Then in Year 9, we changed class and stuff and the new gang consist of me, Christine, Anne, Kelly, Tahira, Scott and Richard. Scott was my classmate in Armley Middle School and has been my one of my friends who walks to school with me for the last 2 years or so. He's very good at soccer, kinda like "Gary Linnaker". Then in Year 10, Jane and Katie joined the gang and so we're like this really big gang. It's really fun, cause for Christmas or birthdays we get each get lots of presents [of course you also have to give to get some]

So you see, I spent most of my teenage year in England and it was such a wonderful experience. I hardly meet any Malaysian of the same age for 5 years and I had no idea what was waiting for me when I got back to Malaysia. Abang completed his O-level (GCSE), I wanted to finish off too but Dad says that we can't wait another year for my O-level cause if we do that, Abang would have to start his A-level and Nora would feel that it's unfair that we don't wait another year for her when I'm done, and the cycle goes on... Mama wants to go home so much too, cause she missed her mum's funeral two years before (that's another story).. so we left.

At this point, I have no UPSR, no O-level, no PMR and I was 15. For all anybody cared, I haven't been to school all these 9+ years.. I wanted to stay so much, some of the aunties and uncles who are studying in Leeds offered to look after me for the extra year so that I could finish off my O-level. But dad wanted us to stick together. So we left Old Glory England, and returned to Malaysia and I had to step down a year and actually finish off my PMR before I could go to Form 4.

Nora and I went to SMK Kelana Jaya and took PMR in the same year together, everyone though we were twins [unidentical, of course].. I got tired of explaining the whole situation to everyone. I wanted to get out of that school so much. I had to work very hard to get good grades. I have never taken a Malaysian/Asia History or Geography class in my whole life. [My History/Geography classes have always been about United Kingdom and Europe] and I haven't had any formal Religious Education for the last 5 years, my Malay usage was limited and things were hard. Nora and I went to private tuition for Malay class only and the other stuff we learnt ourselves. Mama would wake us up at 5 in the morning to study cause we had to cram 3 years worth of classes in one year. She would wait with us to make sure we are not fooling around. It was a lot of pressure, but I was determined to do well just to get to a better school. Nora couldn't care less, she was upset that we had to move back to Malaysia instead of finishing things off in England. I don't think she understands.. So I got my PMR results, 7A's and a B (not in BM but PI), Nora's result was a different story.

While my friends in England was finishing off high school and started their A-level. I went to MARA Junior Science College in Beseri, Perlis. Christine went to Oxford, Anne went to a Music University somewhere in France, Tahira went to Cambridge, Kelly went to a designer's University somewhere in Manchester, I can't remember where Jane and Katie went. One of our classmates, Lucy had a baby.. Anyway, being in Beseri was my first experience being away from the family. There's the ups and downs to this but I wanted to changed schools so much, it turned out to be a good thing for me. I learnt a lot, changed a lot (this is when I started wearing the tudung) and met soo many people from all over Malaysia. This is what made me a Malaysian. I never really knew people from Perak, or Melaka or Sarawak or Pahang or any of the other states other than Selangor, Kedah and Johor before. And now I'm learning their cultures, their slang and customs. Two of my cube mates are from KL though, Mazreena and Salamah, one of them, Syariza, was from Jitra, Kedah. So I always go over to Syariza's house during breaks. I hardly ever go home unless the break is a week or longer. I talk to my parents every other day though. I miss them so much. My dad was too busy to come and visit me but I was OK with that. Somehow I felt part of Syariza's family. She was the youngest of 6 but the difference between her age and her older brother is 14 years. Her oldest brother and her was 39 years apart.. and so her parents was more like her grandparents than mum and dad. Her mum got pregnant at 58 years old, could you believe it? I was never really close to my own grandma, just cause they live so far away and we don't visit them enough (well, I was gone in England for a third of my life, once when I was a toddler for 2 years and again when I was a teenager for another 5 years) but I got along with Syariza's mum. She loves talking to me cause I always ask her about her younger life, about when she first met her husband and about her sons and daughters. I didn't know what to talk to her about at first so I just choose to talk about what she knows best.. and that is herself.. She stutters at times, cause she had stroke 10 years before, she was in her late 70s already at this point, and people are sometimes impatient when it takes her a little longer to finish off her sentence.. but I loved listening to her talk cause whenever I go to visit it's the school holiday or the weekends and I have no worries in my mind other than just relaxing. So she was my entertainment, and I was her entertainment. Sya's dad told me that I make his wife very happy cause sometimes when everyone is gone, she feels very lonely and none of her kids wants to listen to her rabble on about her past and memories that makes her happy..But I was interested in all that.. She shows me pictures of her past and after a while I was like her favorite guest. She brings gifts for me everytime she visits her daughter in the dorms. After 2 years I felt like I was part of the family, Syariza's cousins and aunts all knew me. And once she even told Sya that she likes me better than one of her brother's wife. Now that's scary, does she want me to be her daughter in-law or something? Sya was so happy that her brothers are married, fancy having your roommate as a sister in-law.. No thank you..

After I pray everyday, I always ask God forgive me for my sins, my parents' and my family's sins, for happiness and guidance through life on Earth and after life and "berikanlah rahmat dan Hidayat mu kepada ku". I hope God didn't misunderstand me, but I got Hidayat. Both emotionally and the GUY.. **what??** Yes, spiritually I felt cleansed while I was in Beseri and that really helped me with my studies. At the same time, God also gave me Hidayat, he was my first boyfriend. The President of the Sports and Recreational Biro [he was a BWP- Biro Wakil Pelajar] and I was the Girls' President for the Students Disciplinary Board (JDP-Jemaah Disiplin Pelajar).. we had to keep the whole relationship all shush-shush but almost everyone knew except for the teachers. I felt that God had really planned it all out. It turns out that his dad was the one who told him to look for me.

Here's some background to set the scene. My mum has a third cousin, Pak Lah, who happens to be my dad's boss when my dad was an engineer 20+ years ago. Supposedly, he was the one who helped my parents to meet and they got married and the story speaks for itself. Hidayat's real dad died and Pak Lah married his mum. One day, my parents sent me back to Beseri and they stopped to eat somewhere in Kuala Perlis. Then Pak Lah and Hidayat's mum had just sent him to Beseri too and they coincidentally ate at the same restaurant. Even though they haven't met for 20 years, somehow they recognized each other and started talking. Abah talked about me and Pak Lah talked about Hidayat, and they're so happy that they met after such a long separation. Even though I talk to my mum every week, she didn't tell me any of this, Hidayat's parents told him about me. Pak Lah told him to look for a girl who's dad is Yusoff from Mersing, Johor. That was enough information to lead him to me. Everyone knew my full name, cause I was the girl with the highest CGPA, but he had to be sure, so he asked a guy from my class if my dad is from Johor, which he is.. so he knew that his dad was talking about me. Later, when the juniors came, the BWP's had to decide who is going to facilitate the junior's orientation. They had a list of names of seniors, and the BWP could pick his/her partners. So he choose me. There was a big fuss on campus, cause none of the other BWPs were as certain as he was about picking their opposite gender partner. People kept coming to ask me about it too.. and I have no idea why.. it was really weird cause my classmates have been teasing me about him since the previous semester based on this one incident. You see Hidayat is the tallest guy in school,[his nickname is LONG] he's also good looking but he's very shy. He is in the next class to mine, and one day I was walking back to class from lab and I was late cause I stayed to talk to the teacher.. and our paths crossed and I actually looked up at him cause I wanted to see his face, our eyes met and he smiled at me.. it was a regular smile but my whole class was looking at us through the window and when I got in, there was a huge cheer from the guys.. I think they were making something up cause Hidayat asked one of the boys about me... When we finally got together, my classmates said that they saw it all coming... my roommates kept singing BackStreetBoy's "As LONG as you love me"... He gave me his ring after 2 weeks, but it was too big for me to wear so I put it on a necklace. Once his parents came to visit him and they came to the girls dorm to call for me... but I wasn't home cause I went to Sya's house. I would've been so scared to meet them though, they really look at me as their future family member. Hidayat shows pictures of us together to his mum.. and when we finally met on graduation day, his mum kept hinting to my mum that they could be families in the future.. my mum was so confused.. she didn't know anything at the time..