SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL ADHA

While some 2 million Muslims pilgrims gather from all over the world to perform the Hajj pilgrimage, I was sitting on my sejadah thousand and thousands of miles from them reading the holy Quran last night, as I usually do after at least one of my daily prayers every day. But last night I felt something different, I heard myself reading and somehow I feel like I don't want to stop. I don't understand most of what I was reading but I feel at peace, like nothing is bothering me. I wanted the moment to last, so I read and read and read until my eyes were dried. I closed the holy book and kissed it three times, and I sat there touching and looking at the golden floral patterns on the green leather cover for the longest time. I was thinking of life and what I've amounted to. I thought of how generous Allah has been to me and I started to praise him continuously. Tears came dripping from its well, and there's just no stopping..

One thing that I want to do when, and if, I have children is to teach them to read the Quran. I don't want anybody else to teach it. I think it should be the responsible of the parents to initially teach them this important knowledge. Nowadays, parents just don't have the time to teach their kids about this and other important stuff. They'd go to work and send the kids to school hoping against all odds that the money they've paid for education is going to completely cover for all that the kids need to know in order to survive. When I was younger, my dad taugh me to read.. starting with memorizing the alif, ba, ta and moving on to the Muqaddam and the Al-Quran. Sometimes he'd have to force us to read it cause we'd rather watch 'Thunder Cats' or the 'Smurf' on Sunday morning, but usually I would read with my dad on some mornings after subuh. My mum would be downstairs in the kitchen preparing breakfast, and my brother would be getting ready for class and my younger sister would fall back asleep. I loved reading in the morning, cause the sun's not up and it's still cool and everything seems so peaceful. My dad would teach me to memorize the short surahs as he reads. It would be our moment.. Sometimes, I would just listen to him read, feels so wonderful, just the two of us. Later, when I had to start to get ready for class he'd turn the radio on real loud, reciting Allah's words. Those moments seems so long ago..

Last time I went back for summer break, my parents and I went to Melacca. My other siblings didn't come cause they had school and University to deal with. Abah had a conference for his work. DBP was paying him to write a Malay Science and Engineering Dictionary along with other panels. It was late night when he returned from his many meetings and mum and I was already sleeping. Then my dad prayed and the sound of his soft voice reciting his prayers woke me. I lay there with my eyes open mesmerized at his voice. I haven't heard a man pray for such a long time. Memories flashed. So many memories of us praying together as a family years ago. Those precious moments. Weird how small things like that means so much.. I haven't prayed with my dad, or my family, for years. Lately, it's always alone.. the last time I prayed with a jemaah was on the 1st of Syawal months ago.

I couldn't make it to the mosque this morning due to lab from 8 til noon. I even forgot that it was Eid today, I wouldn't have realised it too if it hadn't been Qamar who whispered his Eid Greeting to me this morning as I was doing my microscopic analysis on some filter cels. I turned around stunned, he had to repeat a couple of times cause I couldn't catch what he was saying. After lab, I went straight to the ChE study lounge to do some research on drug pump batteries for my next Design Project. Then I had Process Control recitation. I went to Al-Madinah's cultural center at lunch time to pray, and then I went to another class. I had to go to work right after that, so I went to pray first before punching in..will have to study later tonight. I was granted an extension on both of my independent and distant learning courses but I'm planning to finish it as soon as possible. I'm trying to weigh out whether I should or should not further my studies. I want to apply for Direct Research with a faculty in the Chemistry department, I just don't see myself as an engineer.. it was never my childhood dream, I just wanted to fly!

I had wished my mum and my family last night, but other than that there's not much going on. It was kind of sad to hear that 14 Pilgrims had passed away, but Allah has His own rewards for His true believers. I saw Aida yesterday, she has started to wear her hijab (tudung) once again, I'm glad. Alhamdullilah :)