Why We Love Children

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead." She was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know", explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
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A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....
"Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later...... "Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
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An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,
'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when
he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
"The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."

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When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

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A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,"What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF
WHICH, is four....

Never under estimate the little old Lady!!

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money.
She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"
After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!)
The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit.
She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this
cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"
The old lady replied, "I make bets."
The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."
"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"
The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," said the president, I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"
The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness ?"
"Sure!" replied the confident president.
That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again.
He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office.
She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet:
"$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"
The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president did. The little old lady
peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."
Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The President asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"
She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."

Macy baby…

Here’s something outta the spur of the moment.. I’m currently cramming for my mass transfer exam tomorrow and my heads just spinning with formulas and my nerves making me freaky..
As Macy Gray sings in the background, it feels like I’m in caught the trance of her funkiness.. you just gotta love this laydee (lady).. her voice is soo mesmerizing [ probably cause it’s definitely something different..] her songs are somewhat amusing in a twisted little way.. with titles like “gimme you’re your loving or I will kill you”, “sex-o-matic freaky venus”,”love will never do without you”,”boo”,”freak like me” “sweet baby” and “sexual revolution”.. what do you expect!?
Anyway, enough of the little ‘shout out’.. gotta get back ta’ studying..
Later alligator!

A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post a SECRETARY.
When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire his mind was screaming "NOT THIS WOMAN."
Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu. So he told her "If You could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK,YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."
The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said :
"I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW......BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number .......Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Thank you."
The Manager fainted..................

A friend of mine wanted to share this with me, some of it seems funny, some are just silly.. just thought I'd share it with others here [don't wanna send junk mail, there's no such thing as "make my day" junk mail!]


Karam Singh Walia (TV3), slogans recommended by him:
(hehehe)

1. Kemana tumpahnya kuah kalau tidak ke bawah

2. Tak lapuk dek hujan, tak lekang macam rambutan

3. Tiada rotan, pelempang berguna juga

4. Biar lambat asalkan tak cepat

5. Biar putih tulang, jangan kuning gigi

6. Di mana ada gula di situ adalah gula-gula

7. Kalah jadi abu, menang jadi arang, seri jadi abu bakar

8. Carik-carik bulu ayam, lama-lama jadi shuttlecock

9. Secupak takkan jadi 18 cupak

10. Gajah mati meninggalkan gading, udang harimau mati meninggalkan kulit, manusia mati meninggal dunia

11. Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, inikan pula makanan di dalam mulut

12. Harapkan pagar, pagar tidak boleh diharap

13. Alang-alang mandi biar guna sabun

14. Berapa berat mata memandang, berat lagi seguni beras

15. Cubit paha kanan, paha kiri tak rasa apa-apa pun

16. Diam-diam ubi berisi, diam-diam orang.... bisu

17. Hidup segan mati di tanam

18. Ikut hati mati, ikut rasa merasa

19. Lembu punya susu cap teko dapat nama

20. Sehari selambar benang lama-lama benang habis

21. Jika kail panjang sejengkal, beli le yang panjang sikit kalau nak ngail di laut. (beli la pukat tunda lagi baik)

22. Hendak seribu daya, tak hendak tak apa

23. Membujur lalu melintang pukang

24. Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik hari tak hujan

25. Sebab pulut santan binasa, sebab mulut habis pulut

26. Kecil-kecil cili padi, kecil lagi biji cili

27. Kalau sudi katakan sudi, kalau tak sudi boleh blah!!

Back to Youby John Mayer
back to you
it always comes around
back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late

over you
I'm never over
over you
something about you
It's just the way you move
the way you move me

I'm so good at forgetting
and I quit every game I've played
but forgive me love
I can't turn and walk away

back to you
it always comes around
back to you
I walk with your shadow
I'm sleeping in my bed
with your silhouette

should have smiled in that picture
if it's the last that I'll see of you
it's the least that you could not do

oh I will
leave the light on
I'll never give up on you
leave the light on
for me too

back to me
I know that it comes
back to me
doesn't it scare you
your will is not as strong
as it used to be

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

Watson says, "I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

Holmes replies, "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

Can't help falling in love by Christina Aguilera

Wise man say " only fools rush in"
But I can't help falling in love with you...

Shall I say, would it be a sin.. but I can't help falling in love with you..
As a river flows gently to the sea.. darling, so it goes.. somethings were meant to be
Take my hand... take my whole life too..
But I can't help falling in love with you...

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I guess..
I guess..
This is how it's meant to be..
Through laughters and cries, and pain and glory..
Life's definitely a ball of irony..

Here's to me for successfully completing a 20 page lab report..
just to turn around and start on another..
The weather's fine, put those gloves away but time is short
for you to stop and even bother..
Cause for all you know it might snow tomorrow..

January, February, March then April..
Before you know it, you're there in May
And night and day arrives with peril
'cause you're struggling and pacing in great dismay
cause the finals are just a heartbeat away..

It's really strange, and sometimes queer
that things that happen are not as they appear
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And your mind began to wander astray
To what it's gonna be like a year from today

Found a cheap ticket, I'm going back home
Where everything I love is waiting for me there
But the best things happen just as you thought it's the low
Cause my scholars gonna pay for my flight now

Why is everyone's birthday coming up soon...
With Marcel's on tuesday, Bigshow's on wednesday
Wira's coming up soon, Jin and Vikesh's on Friday too
and my sistas Nora and Husna next week on alternate days..

Let's continue praying for one another.
As we look at this article we realise how true the Messenger(P.B.U.H) was when these signs were prophesized 1400 years ago!!!

Take a look....

* Camels will no longer be used as a means of transport;
* People will ride on saddles that aren't saddles (cars?);
* The distance on earth will become short;
* Horses will not be used in wars;
* Muslims will defeat the Byzantines which will end with the conquest of Constantinople (Istanbul);
* The Jews will gather again to live in Bilad Canaan;
* Very tall buildings will be built;
* The disappearance of knowledge and the appearance of ignorance, with much killing;
* Adultery will become widespread, and the drinking of wine will become common;
* The number of men will decrease and the number of women will increases until there are 50 women to be looked after by one man;
* Islam will become worn out like clothes are, until no one will know what fasting, prayer, charity and rituals are;
* Allah will send a disease to fornicators that will have no cure (Aids?);
* People will begin to believe in the stars and reject AL QADAR (THE DIVINE DECREE OF DESTINY);
* Men will pass by people's graves and say: "Would that I was in his place" (large amount of suicidal deaths?);
* The Euphrates will uncover a mountain of gold for which people will fight over (the river of Alfurat that lies near Syria);
* Two large groups of people will fight one another, and there will be many casualties; they will both be following the same religion (World War II?);
* Approximately 30 DAJJALS will appear, each one claiming to be the messenger of ALLAH;
* Earthquakes will increase;
* Time will pass quickly;
* Afflictions will appear;
* Killing will increase;
* Wealth will increase;
* Women will be wearing clothes but not wearing clothes
* THE PROPHET (PBUH) SAID: "IF MY UMMAH BEARS 15 TRAITS (QUALITIES),TRIBULATION WILL FOLLOW IT." (DAY OF JUDGEMENT SOMEONE ASKED,"WHAT ARE THEY O MESSENGER OF ALLAH" HE (PBUH) SAID:
* When any gain is shared out only among the rich, with no benefit to the poor;
* When a trust becomes a means of making profit;
* When paying ZAKKAT becomes a burden;
* When voices are raised in the mosque;
* When the leader of a people is the worst of them; When people treat a man with respect because what he may do;
* When much wine is drunk; red wind or the earth swallow them, or to be transformed into animals."


* 'IMRAN IBN HUSAYN SAID: "THE PROPHET (PBUH) SAID, 'SOME PEOPLE OF THIS UMMAH WILL BE SWALLOWED BY THE EARTH, TRANSFORMED INTO ANIMALS, AND SOME WILL BE BOMBARDED WITH STONES'. ONE OF THE MUSLIMS ASKED, WHEN WILL THAT BE
O MESSENGER Of ALLAH?' HE SAID, 'WHEN SINGERS AND MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS WILL BECOME POPULAR, AND MUCH WINE IS DRUNK.'"


THE GREATER SIGNS OF THE HOUR:
The Quran will disappear in one night, even from the people's hearts, and no Ayat will be left on earth. (Some groups of old people will be left who will say: "We heard of fathers' saying "LAILLAHA ILLA ALLAH" so we repeat it.
* The appearance of the MAHDI;
* The appearance of the DAJJAL (Anti-Christ);
* The appearance of Yakjuj and Makjuj(biblical Gog and Magog);
* Isa (Jesus) will come during the time of Dajjal;
* The rising of the sun from the west;
* The destruction of the Kaaba and the recovery of its treasures;
* The smoke.

what?