'Puteri'
Composed and sung by Adrin

Ingat sekali senyum sendiri
bayangan dia kulihat tadi
siapa dia manis sekali
kutoleh dia hilang, telah pergi
di mana dia tadi ada disini
ke mana dia lari ku cari2
oh.. dia di situ lagi, seorang diri

Tidak berani menyapa
dia terlalu indah
walau pun mata bertemu mata
ku ingin tanya namanya
bertahan dalam hati
mungkinkah kita temu lagi
oh puteri

di mana dia tadi ada di sini
ke mana dia lari ku cari2
oh dia disitu lagi, seorang diri
tidak berani menyapa
dia terlalu indah
walaupun mata bertemu mata
ku ingin tanya namanya
bertahan dalam hati
mungkinkah kita temu lagi..
oh puteri

I finally sold my 'dinosaur' computer to Marcail for about 50 dollars.. I think that it was a mistake for us to buy the thing in the first place but I guess we weren't really thinking seriously in those days.. what a waste of money! But I guess that crummy little thing did it's job [as best as it possibly could].. it's been sitting in the corner of my living room for quite some time now..untouched..
anyway Marcail took it after we went to the mall last Saturday.. Yasmin and I hung out at his place after that, Wira was obviously there too .. Actually we just met at the mall after Marcail and he went to watch JOHN Q..and Yasmin and I shoe shopped for a few hours.. I haven't been to the mall since last semester.. Yasmin bought a pair of slacks from Old Navy while I bought a pair of Doc. Martens shoes and a pair of Nike sports shoes [which is on sale from $129.99 to $59.99].. I wore my DM shoe yesterday and after a while I realised that I had bought it one size larger than my feet.. So I intend to send it back and get one that's the right size.. then I looked at the receipt and it says that the merchandize in non-returnable if I've worn it.. [what the...?].. but it's not damaged or anything except that the sole has some sand on it.. So I washed everything of trying to make it look like it's brand new, and just pray that they'll take it back and give me one that I could actually wear.. Yazmin told me that she met one of her friend who had the exact shoe that I just bought and found that the lucky thing bought her shoe for 40 dollars less than I did at some store in Rosedale or something [great! this is just not my luck is it??] maybe I'll go to the mall this Saturday, Amilin told me that he might wanna go to the mall.. so I'll tag along.. Yasmin wants to come too.. that's something to look forward to..
Anyway, I saw Wira online later, so I got him to transfer me some files that I wanted to get off that computer. I found this song which Adrin [that guy from Cornell] had written and sung for me. It's kind of an old story and I don't really wanna go into details but what basically happened was that he saw me hanging out with seniors during the opening ceremony of the Midwest games 2000 at Purdue, and he had this little crush-at-first-sight, and when he got back to Cornell he wrote this song, not knowing who I am and stuff.. He went back to Malaysia for an internship during the summer but when he came back in the fall he was still thinking of me, so he tried to contact one of the seniors here in order to get in touch with me.. and the rest as they say, is history.. bla. bla.. bla.. Stupid Cupid!

The Clock Lied!
Ever since Sasha's boyfriend moved back to Minnesota, Sasha has been spending less and lesser time at home.. I don't really mind cause I'm hardly home myself anyway.. floating here and there between class, lab, work and study lounges..my class usually starts at 10 but on some days I work before class from 8 to 10..on Monday class ends at 1 then I have lab until 5 and work at 6 til 11.. so I only come home after 11 on that day.. then on tuesday, class ends at 12 but then I have lab from 5 to 10 and I don't go home in between. So I only come home at 10. Wednesday is when I get to relax, cause after 1 I can go straight home and do my stuff.. Thursdays are pretty much like Tuesday except for the fact that I have to work from 12 to 4 before the 6 o'clock lab until 10.. so I go home after 10.. while Fridays are exactly like Wednesday.. so as you can see I'm hardly home during school days.. busy.. busy.. busy..
Yesterday my lab finished off early.. it only took me an hour to finish the computational chemistry lab.. so I went home early and had absolutely nothing to do... I took the mail, prayed, changed and looked through some magazines as I started to think of what I could do.. So I put on Marcail's "Corky Romario" DVD which I borrowed on Saturday and roasted chicken in the oven, and sat there for the next hour and a half watching the movie.. just as it was over I went to the kitchen took the chicken out and made mash potato and some vegetables and ate.. feeling completely content with the day.. I climbed into bed and snoozed til dawn..
Somehow I have this little biological clock inside of me that keeps waking me up at 6 am, but today it woke me up at 5, but I guess I still slept the same amount of time, so I turned the radio to listen to my favourite morning show as I sat there in bed reading through some textbook. I stayed there til 7 something, then I went to the bathroom to get ready for work... and there I was singing in the 'rain' [you should only do this when you're home and everyone else is gone, otherwise there'll be someone pounding on your door telling you to cut the crap! ] .. anyway, with it being cold and everything outside, you can't really blame me for not wanting to get out of the shower.. so there I was extending my cleansing session, and as I pulled the shower curtains aside, I stared at the little black time box and it told me that the time was only 7.20.. so I'm like "Cool, I still have lotsa time".. I started with my facials, doing the whole 'shebang'.. [exfoliate, cleanse, tone and moisture] and the clock tells me that it's still early.. so I stepped out to my bedroom and planned to recharge my cellphone, and that's when the truth smacked me right in the butt.. there on my cellphone, the time reads 10 minutes before 8.. and I have to be at work at eight!! So I threw my clothes on, pack myself a chicken sandwich and scurried out of the door.. I felt so betrayed, the clock lied!

Monday Moanings

Oh what a day..
I'm so tired..
soo sleepy..
sooo bored of sitting in this office..
yet it's soooo cold outside..
soooo gloomy, windy, frosty, slushy, snowy...

what is going on?
when will tomorrow come?
where is my sunshine?
who are you?
why is this happening?
how did I get here?

I think I'm lost..
somewhere between here and there..

Can I go back to yesterday?
when the nights are long and the days are care-free,
when the weekend never ends and the sun is shining,
when you can walk in your own garden and dance merrily to the sounds of laughter and melody,
when the word 'home' is never followed by 'work' and minds are full of dreams and fantasy..
when there's someone to hold your hand when you cross the street and sing you to sleep..
when play is fun and smiles are free..

d'ya catch ma' drift?

Completely Incomplete

OK, so things didn't turn out as planned.. I was hoping to finish the 'Reaction & Reactor' homework last night but I didn't even start it. Instead I was on the phone all night.. First I called a friend of mine and apologized for breaking a small little promise which I couldn't keep due to my bad procastinating habits.. then after an hour of patching things up, I called my family to wish them all happy Eid. Abang and Nora are both busy with their pre-exam-preparations..
hehhee.. the funny thing was that when my brother picked up the phone I said.."Hello Abang?" and he relied back to me in this mushy tone..I was all confused [kinda disgusted too.. why is he speaking like this..] there was an awkward silence as I realised that he thought that I'm his girlfriend calling... yucks! The funny thing is I never call anyone 'Abang' other than my real brother.. so other than my other 3 sisters I don't really expect anyone to call my brother 'Abang'..just because they're not my sister, right? Then I remembered that my brother's soon-to-be -fiance girlfriend does call him 'Abang'.. How dare you steal my brother from me! hehhe.. the secret about my brother's girlfriend was only revealed to the family when I came back about a year back.. Abang didn't want to tell us all the name of his girlfriend .. so I started teasing him .. I remembered 'Syarifah Latifa Bunifa Jackson' from MadTv.. and I also remembered this one particular family joke about 'George' Singh and how you can't really judge some one just by their name [don't you feel sorry for 'Ben Ladden'?].. so I was eager to find out what her name was.. [not that it really matters].. so I made up a name Siti Nurul Salamah Chan, a 50's kampung name with a twist of the all typical multiracial background.. I didn't know the lady, let alone see her face.. but I do know that she had dyed her hair with a touch of copper [Abang said that she cleans her hair with 'air karat'.. hehhe], cause we found a copper strand in our car.. so I figured that the only reason that my brother is hiding her identity from us is probably because she's got a weird name or something.. he hated it when I refer to the girl with that name, always throwing playful punches at me on my shoulder when I give him my little smirk of satisfaction when I see him starting to blush in front of the others... one day he just blurted it out .. 'Her name is Lia..!' All of us suddenly gawked in silence.. 'Lia? Are you talking about Nor Azlia?' We used to call his ex "Lia".. but it wasn't that Lia.. this one is called Liana, and she's also known as "Lia"... what a coincidence! Eid came, and the 'new' Lia came over to visit.. we introduced ourselves.. and sure enough this is definitely a new Lia.. I guess we just have to adjust to the shift..

Finally Friday

This's definitely one of the busiest week that I have ever experienced.. I'm just glad that it's finally Friday and I can get a couple of days rest. I actualy thought that there would be no homework, then all of a sudden Larry (maybe I should call him Prof. Schmidt) came in and handed us one.. and the worst thing about it is that he expects to collect it in on Wednesday. Aaarggghh... only four days to work on it!! As usual he said that it's an easy one.. he always says that.. even in our first homework he said that it should only take up 10 minutes for each question.. but guess what, we all spent the whole week working on it. He means well though, I think at the end of the course he's trying to tell us all that "it's all in your head!".. when you think it's hard, it is. However this term doesn't always work when you think it's easy. But I guess if you think it's not hard, you get more pleasure in doing it and it does somehow help a bit. I'm gonna try and finish it all tonight.. so that I could spend Sunday getting ready for the 3 experiments that I'll be doing in both organic and process analytical lab. It's alot of work takling 2 lab courses at the same time but everything kinda pays off when you realise that you don't have to take finals for these classes..

I'm actually at work right now, doing a favor for Chad who is going back to visit him family. He wanted to replace me on my Monday night shift.. that was the originally plan cause I wanted to take a break after our first Process Analytical Lab next Monday.. but Chad realised that he has a night class on Monday. So he'll be doing my Sunday shift 2 weeks from now. Our new supervisor , Sarah, had put up a new spring break schedule out today and I had the opportunity of being the first person to choose which shift I want. I know that I want to work but I also want to be out and about.. so I just signed up and told Sarah that I might change my mind later. She's kinda cool about it.. We're gonna be having a severe cleanup in this little office soon.. we'll be getting the carpet steamed, walls painted, color coordinated chairs, new cabinets and stuff soon.. she's already changing alot of the policies in this office.. she's really laid back.. which makes working here so much more fun.. no more blue warning/reminder notes.. no more early morning calls asking about why Mister XX still hadn't brought in his copy of his marriage certificate for his wife's membership or why I sold Miss XY the student membership when there's no valid registration .. 'hello, call up registra and check their eligibility!'.. there was one point when I actually fely like quitting thi sjob cause I get so sick and tired of Phillip calling me up at seven to ask silly little questions like that, it kinda sucks when he calls me on late Thursday nights to ask me to open up at 5.45am the next day so that he could take a long weekend to fishing or something.. 'Well, after studying late at night, I do need to get some sleep. Outside of work time I do have to go to class too mister..' and with all the dust in this office when he was around, I'm sure he was planning to choke one of us to death.. this have changed so much no though .. so this is what it's like to have a woman in control!
Hang on.. what am I doing? why am I complaining? Things are getting better right.. hehhe.. I guess things could only get better..

I'm actually so glad that I'm done with all my midterms.. we got back our Process Analytical paper on Wednesday.. Fajarrani scored the highest score in class and everyone one else in our little group got pretty much about the same points.. Just before our Heat ad Mass Transfer exam today Kamar was trying to wish me happy Eid.. I was on the other side of the room that I couldn't even make out what he was trying to say.. Good thing Vikesh and Fajarrani knew what was going on.. they passed on the message to me.. There will be an Eid celebration tomorrow somewhere in a Community Center in St. Paul..I think I'll have to call my family up tonight.. I'll be going to the celebration with Sasha and Yasmin after our usually Saturday visit to the gym.. At around 11 something Sasha and I will be going to Centennial to pick Yasmin up.. then we'll be going together.. after that I think I want to go to the MoA to buy new shoes.. I think I know what I want, I just hope they have it there.

"Ain't It Funny" by J.Lo

Estoy loca enamorada de ti
It seemed to be like the perfect thing for you and me
It's so ironic you're what I had pictured you to be
But there are facts in our lives we can never change
Just tell me that you understand and feel the same
This perfect romance that I've created in my mind
I'd live a thousand lives each one with you right by my side
But yet we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance
And so it seems like we'll never have the chance

1 - Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny
And you can't move on even though you try
Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel
Oh I wish this could be real
Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right
Ain't it strange how fate can play a part
In the story of your heart


Sometimes I think that a true love can never be
I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant to me
Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain
And I don't think that I could face it all again
I barely know you but somehow I know what you're about
A deeper love I've found in you, and I no longer doubt
You've touched my heart and it altered every plan I've made
And now I feel that I don't have to be afraid

Repeat 1

I locked away my heart
But you just set it free
Emotions I felt held me back from what my life should be
I pushed you far away
And yet you stayed with me
I guess this means
That you and me were meant to be

Here's something I found in my mailbox this morning, it's somewhat disgusting..yet typially hillarious:


It's 3am, and the man is driving his brand new BMW M3 CSL down the N1 at 240km/h. He's two minutes away from home when he sees a car on the side of the road, on its roof, and flames all around. There's no one else in the area, his cellphone reception is dead, so he stops his car. Sure enough, there's a beautiful woman in the car, but she's bleeding to death. The guy reckons "screw it" and rushes home to fetch a
blanket. He gets back, puts the blanket on the back seat of his M3, and puts the woman on the blanket. He then rushes her to the hospital.

Six months she lies in the hospital, and he is with her every day and every night. He donates blood to keep her alive. Eventually, she recovers
fully, and they get married.

Life is cool for a few years, until one day she gets fed up and decides to leave him. His love of money is obvious, and she feels like a trophy
wife.
As she comes down the stairs, struggling with her two suitcases, she reaches into her pocket for the keys to the Jaguar. Sure enough, he stops her before she reaches the door, and asks "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving you," she says.

"Oh really, and how are you going to leave? The keys in your hand are for the Jaguar I paid for. It's my car. you're not taking it anywhere."

"Fine," she says, and throws the keys at him.

"And those bulging suitcases? The clothes you're wearing? Everything, I've paid for. They are my suitcases and my clothes. You're not taking them anywhere."

"Fine," she says, and throws the suitcases at him. She strips down completely and throws her clothes at him too.

"And the blood in your body? I sat with you for six months in the hospital.You know half of the blood is mine. You're not going anywhere."

She whips out her tampon and says "I'll pay you back in monthly installments."

Would You Be Happier
Music & Lyrics: The Corrs


Have you ever wondered where the story ends
And how it all began, I do (I do, I do, I do)
Did you ever dream you were the movie star
With popcorn in your hand, I did (I did, I did, I did)
Do you ever feel you're someone else inside
And no one understands, you are (you are, you are)
And wanna disappear inside a dream
But never wanna wake, wake up

And then you stumble on tomorrow
And trip over today

Would you be happier, if you weren't so un-together?
Would sun shine brighter, if you played a bigger part?
Would you be wonderful, if it wasn't for the weather?
You're gonna be just fine (you're gonna be just fine)

Are you not afraid to tell your story now
But everyone is gone, it's too late! (too late, too late, too late)
Why's everything you've ever said or done
Not the way you planned
mistake!

And so you promised that tomorrow
Be different than today

Would you be happier, if you weren't so un-together?
Would sun shine brighter, if you played a bigger part?
Would you be wonderful, if it wasn't for the weather?
You're gonna be just fine (gonna be just fine)
I think you're gonna be just fine...
You're gonna be just fine (fine)
So don't worry baby (don't worry baby)

You're racing for tomorrow
Not finished with today

Would you be happier, if you weren't so un-together?
Would sun shine brighter, if you played a bigger part?
Would you be wonderful, if it wasn't for the weather?
I think you're gonna be just fine (gonna be just fine)

Would we be happier, if we weren't so un-together?
Would sun shine brighter, if we played a bigger part?
Would we be wonderful, if it wasn't for the weather?
I think we're gonna be just fine (gonna be just fine)
I think you're gonna be just fine

(Don't worry baby)
You're gonna be just fine
(Don't worry honey)
You're gonna be just fine
(Don't worry baby)
You're gonna be just fine

Here's the Corrs latest 'new release'.. not in America though.. I downloaded this song two months ago and it's one of my all time personal favourites of all time..

Sunday = Studyday
It's been quite a productive day today.. I started off the day with a weekly dose of my mum's voice, sometime bright and early at the crack of dawn.. my mum was just finishing of the dishes.. Some of my cousins had come over to visit my grandma, who is staying at our house back home, and they had just finished dinner.. everyone was getting ready for bed. Once again I missed Nora, who had just returned back to UUM the night before after a week break due to Chinese New Year [and her DIY holidays] as usual my dad would ask me what I'm doing at this time of the night, pretending not to be aware that I had just brushed my teeth and still hadn't had my breakfast yet.. then after a few minutes of catching up with Abah.. he passed the phone over to Mama.. it's always nice to talk to her.. she is so speaks so gregariously that sometimes I feel that I could talk to her for hours and hours.. my dad kept telling her not to talk too much but rather listen to what I have to tell her since I called her and not the other way around.. but the truth is, I called cause I wanted to listen to them. I don't really have that much to say, since life is just as exciting as a flower pot over at this end..
Kak Girl and her husband Akram Sanusi are both currently back in KL right now, [I must make it a point to go to Europe one of these days and visit them in their house in Switzerland].. Akram is working with Shell, so Mama told him about the offer that I had received recently from Shell to do a practical training with them, and so Akram was telling her that usually students would not be sent to Sabah or Sarawak to do the practical training program.. I hope I could get through with the interview .. they still need to send me more information about the program.. I hope it won't effect my summer holiday, though the experience would look really good in my resume... Fajarrani did an intern with 3M last year, this year Joe is doing one with Dow Chemicals and Kamar and Vikesh are both doing research with some professors.. so it's only me and Jin that's not doing anything.. I hope everything goes well with this Shell thing, though I'm not really interested in petrochemistry, instead I've been seriously considering Food Engineering as my emphasis.
Anyway, after talking to my family, Tom came to visit,he took me and sasha to B&N in Nicollet Mall, Downtown. We were planning to study there, but later found out that the chairs and tables there were really small and limited. So we decided to go to the Public Library instead.. only to find that it's closed on a Sunday. So we took the 10 minute bus back to the campus.. we ended up in StarBucks in Washington Ave 1 hour after it had just opened.. the place was almost deserted except for a couple of Radisson customers. So we bought some Mocha Frapuccino and stay there all the way til 3pm.. we crossed the street and stopped for lunch at Village Wok then moved to The EE lounge area to study for the rest of the evening. Tom came later to take me home. Sasha stayed to do some programming with Jahedah. We stopped over atCentennial Hall to pick up my Anton Calculus text book [which I happen to think is the best Calculus book ever!] from Wei Lyn.. later when we got home, Tom surprised me by telling me that he will be moving back to California tonight. He had bought the tickets right after he sent me and Sasha to B&N. I was kinda upset that he's leaving so suddenly but he wanted a break from things here..He said he might be coming back but he doesn't know when.
I'll miss him, along with all his childish ways.. [though he is older than me.] He's a very good friend, despite what everyone else might think of him.. it's such a shame that people tend to make assumptions based on their limited observations.. that's why there are so much prejudice in this world.. innocent people fall as victims to gossips and rumours that are false and misleading.. if only they took the time to ask and understand...

“Make You Mine” by the Corrs (Previously Unreleased)

Wondering, waiting for the day to fade away
So I can hold you once again and chase the fears away

Lie with me
Show me how you feel
I'm falling for you deeper everyday

When the night turns over
I'll lie with you
When the morning wakes you
I'm there by you
When the daylight takes you
I'll miss you
Til you come back home to me
And I can make you mine oh mine

Wanting you
Every waking moment I'm on fire (I'm on fire)
Always needing you
I'm aching for you only I'll never tire

Promise me
This is how we'll be
I'm falling deeper everyday

When the night turns over I'll lie with you
When the morning wakes you
I'm there by you
When the daylight takes you
I'll miss you til you come back home to me
When you come back home to me

I'll break you
I'll chase you
You'll find that you can't stand to be away
Not for a day (not for a day...)
Oh and when life defies you
I'll be the soul
You'll never go astray...
And you'll be mine, mine, mine, mine, mine...

(Fly with me, loose reality)
I'm falling deeper everyday
So when the night turns over
I'll lie with you
And when the morning wakes you
I'm there for you
When the daylight takes you
I'll miss you
Til you come back home to me
And I can make you mine
When the night turns over
I'll lie with you
When the morning wakes you
I'm there by you
When the daylight takes you
I'll miss you til you come back home to me
And I can make you mine mine, mine, oh mine
Oh mine...


*************************************************************************************

I think I've turned into a Corrs-freak, I'm collecting their unreleased singles..I've practically memorized them all and they're not even out yet..
Maybe they are, in UK or something.. I donno

The weekend always seems to be too short.. Before you know it, it's Sunday already and you're getting ready for Monday once again...
My Saturday started out pretty late this week. We went to the gym at 11am after a quick breakfast in front of the television.. then we went to the Islamic Retreat thing at Nicholson Hall.. at first I thoughtthat it was in Folwell Hall .. so I went there but there was of sign of anybody there.. so I checked my email at one of the kiosks and realised that the location had been changed.. so Sasha and I went there as quick as our tiny little legs would take us..everyone was already eating lunch when we arrived..
Somehow I expected more people there, but there was only about 30 people there.. mostly juniors.. maybe everyone else is getting ready for next weeks midterms.. nevertheless I joined them anyway.. then we found out that the speech would be conversed in Malay.. Sasha was already worried that she wouldn't understand it.. Luckily Fazrul Fahmee understood and he gave part of his lecture in English and asked me to translate the other parts to her n English.. I tried my best in trying to pass the message through.. Everything ended at around 4.. I thought that it was a good event.. I benefitted a tremendously from it, and I'm sure everyone else does too...

I still have about half an hour before my lab tonight. I didn't bring a textbook so I can't sit down and study or anything.. I don't know what to do..

The review session was a waste of time, the TA's just copied out the solution to last year's exam papers[which could've been in the course webpage if they only took the decency to put it up there].. I hope tonight's lab is not gonna eat up all 4 hours of the session.. Tonight'll be one of those sleepless cramming-the -night-before-exam nights..
emm.. I can't think of anything to say..emm..

Violet: And here's tomorrow's weather forecast brought to you by Miss Isis from the Meteorologist Dept:
Isis: "Looks like it's gonna be a cloudy day here in Minneapolis tomorrow with temperatures ranging from a high of 35F and a low of 24F.. you could also expect a little bit of wind blowing from the west at the speed of 9 mph and a relative humidity of 45%. And Saturday will be partly cloudy with a slight rise of temperature and you could expect a wonderful sunny Sunday coming up around the corner.. back to you Violet in the main studio."
Violet: And that concludes todays flashnews we'll be back with you live on Babblelicious on 214.02FM same time tomorrow to bring you the latest updates from the Winter Olympics 2002 in Salt Lake City, Utah. And from all the cast of Babblelicious we wish you all a good night.

Can't Get You Out Of My Head
Kylie Minogue

La,la,la la,la,la,la,la (x4)

I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, your lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, its more than I dare to think about

La,la,la la,la,la,la,la (x2)

I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, your lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, its more than I dare to think about

Every night
Every day
Just to be there in your arms
Won't you stay
Won't you stay
Stay forever and ever and ever ah ah

La,la,la la,la,la,la,la (x4)

I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, your lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, its more than I dare to think about

There's a dark secret in me
Don't leave me lost in your arms
Set me free
Feel the need in me
Set me free
Stay forever and ever and ever ah ah

La,la,la la,la,la,la,la (x4)

I just can't get you out of my head (La,la,la La,la,la,la,la)

*********************************************************************
Waheyy...what a lovely day..
14th February...valentine's Day, I'm not celebrating, but I'm happy anyway.. why? you ask.. well lets just say new discoveries are always a thrill...and so, I'm happy with my new discoveries...
12th of February was Chinese New Year, once again I'm not really celebrating.. but for me this date would probably be one that I would never forget.. it's like a magical day with a great ending.. feels like eating a delicious meal and ending it with a superb desert..yum.. yum..

I can't wait for spring break and more than anything else I can't wait for the summer holidays...
I found out today that the cost of a flight ticket from Narita, Japan to Kuala Lumpur has gone down by about a hundred dollar.. so I think I'll start buying my ticket to Japan pretty soon.. My plan is to go to Japan for a week just before I arrive in Malaysia.. My looked through the May Summer session class enrollments and I think that I'll be taking a 3 week course in Philosophy and Cultural Diversity which will cover for my 'cultural diversity theme' and 'other humanities core'.. requirements. Then I'll also be registring for a some distance and independent courses so that I could do it while I'm back home for the next two months.. I found a ticket from Minneapolis to Narita at 700++ and another 300++ from there to Kuala Lumpur. I'm planning to stay in Tokyo for a week.. There's this other offer from MAS that says for $747 from LA where you could get an Asia Access Pass and travel to 23 Asian cities... I was considering that at first but then I remembered that I had to buy a ticket to LA and then during the peak season I hae to pay the extra 150 dollars and if I wanna return after the 30 day period I would need to add another 150 for another 15 days [and since I'm planning to add another 30 days to the initial 30 day plan, I would be adding upto another 300] that's 747(initial cost)+300(30 additional days)+150(peak season)+(200++[cost to get the ticket from MSP to LAX]) = EXPENSIVE .. I could spend that extra $400 in Japan..
Anyway, I was planning to sublease the apartment for a while, Sasha was cool about it too.. but yesterday I met Yasmin online and she told me that she wants to move in for summer cause the dorm is really expensive then..so I explained that I'll be leaving the country for a while.. and she agreed tyo sublease right away.. she'll be working full time in 3M in the summer, so that's a good thing since her loan/scholarship application with Mara had been turned down.. :( so now I don't have to worry about paying any excess rent payments..

I have a review session for my midterm tomorrow at 4-6pm.. then it's lab time til 10.. it's been a hectic day....

Some new links have been updated.. including my photo album from some recent events.. check it out..

Everybody Hurts by the Corrs (Unreleased)

When your day is long
and the night, and the night is yours alone
when you think you’ve had enough of this life..
hang on..
don’t let yourself go..
cause everybody cries..
and everybody hurts sometimes..
sometimes everything is wrong ..
now its time to sing along
when your day is rough
hold on (hold on)
and you feel like letting go (hold on)
and you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life
hang on..
cause everybody hurts sometimes..
take comfort in your friends
and everybody hurts
Don’t blow your heads…
ohh no..
don’t blow your heads
if you feel like you’re alone..
no no no… you’re not alone..
if you’re on your own in this life
and the day and nights are long
if you’re sure you’ve had to much of this life ..
hang on..
cause everybody hurts sometimes..
everybody cries.. sometimes..
everybody hurts.. sometimes
everybody hurts sometimes..
so hold on..
hold on… hold on… hold on… hold on…


I feel for that song so much right now, at times I want to be left alone but I really don’t want to be lonely.. Why is it that you always feel like this in the middle of the night? During the day I’d feel all right, wrapped up in all the work load, but moments before I call it a day, I always feel this little emptiness… it’s not that I don’t wanna love.. but I feel that I am not ready for commitments.. 4 different guys had tried to approach me in the last 2 months, 3 of which are non-Malay.. one Chinese American, a Malaysian Indian, a Vietnamese guy and one Malay Minnesotan guy who claimed to have had a crush on me since the first time he met me 2 years ago.. he could even remember the topic that we were talking about that night at Abang Rijal’s house.. which is really amazing if you think about it.. but what can I do..I can’t give him what I don’t have.. somehow I don’t want to try, don’t want to pretend..don’t want to go through all the hassles.. I feel that I can see the direction of taking that path.. I’ve been there , don’t wanna go back there again..
there is this somebody seeping through the cracks of my heart, but I can’t reach him long enough to lock him safely in my heart.. I’m too scared to even approach him for fear of rejection. I feel so insecure.. I have been torn and injured before and the experience was too dreadful.. so much that it had scarred me, and all my relationships since then just never works out the way that I would want it to be.. But still when you like someone, it’s hard to think of anyone else [throw me any chipmunk hunk but I’ll still run to the ONE… I’m hopelessly addicted

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

hey...ho

My most recent favourite, song of the moment
Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of by U2

-----------------------------------------

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard


I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company


I never thought you were a fool
But darling look at you
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere baby


You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it


Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it


I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing


I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see


And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it's tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now
My, oh my


You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it


Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it


I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep


I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all


You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it


Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it


And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass


And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass


It's just a moment
This time will pass

Miraculously I am an hour early for work today.. that has never ever happened before.. usually[actually almost all the time] I would be 5 minutes late at work .. this is usually due to the fact that I always depart from my apartment 5 minutes before work should’ve started. Rather than getting an earlier start.. this procrastination has become a little of a bad habit that I just can’t chisel out.. well nobody’s perfect..
So anyway here I am, with one extra hour to waste.. I have my homework with me and I had just organized myself by punching holes in my old homework and handouts, arranging it all neatly in my navy blue folder that somebody passed down to me.. I have never actually bought my own brand new folder ever since I got here [that’s excluding those paper pocket binder thingies.. ] I think I got this blue folder from kak Aziah.. just before she left last august, she dropped over at my house and gave me all her ChEn notes [which I have found to be very useful.. in my last lab report I got the full 100%, which is something I am trying to maintain ..you know how every semester you always plan to have excell in at least one subject especially if things don’t look so dandy.. well this semester, though I do hope that I can excell in all my class.. I shall try to make sure that my lab reports are always ‘crème de la crème’..] anyway.. kak Aziah had given me some extra folders that I am now recycling.. before that Hakim was giving me his folders just before he left to go to Malaysia… kak Ija also left me quite a few things before she went.. which is very generous of her..

Anyway.. I know I have planned to update this blog regularly and that has somewhat been an empty promise.. but the truth is I have been rather busy with sorting out the real life out there.. then there’s always the homework and assignments.. I was lacking sleep last week and on Wednesday, I had a terrible headache and felt really I’ll..luckily I finished class at 1 that day.. we[ me, Jin, Fajarrani and Joe] went out to have lunch together at Hong Kong Wok [which just reopened due to some minor reconstruction].. and then we all went back to the ChEn lounge and tried to complete our Heat homework together.. everything was done at around 5 so I went home and just couldn’t do anything.. I was so exhausted that I couldn’t even wake up from my little nap.. I woke up a few hours later to eat and was hoping to get some other things done but I had a cracking headache .. so I took some medicine and continued sleeping all the way til 7 the next day.. that was like a 12 hour sleep all together.. but it does make me feel a lot better.. next week we will start having midterms starting with my Organic lab on Tuesday and an Analytical Lab midterm on Friday…

Last Friday was Phillips last day at work.. we had a party for him on Thursday afternoon.. Unluckily I was working at the time but I nipped over to Cooke Hall to get some food and drinks.. Phillip came back later and brought me some cake.. Phillip is being replaced by another lady called Sarah..[who kinda looked a little like Phillip… shape wise] She’s nice.

Talking about celebrations.. it was Sasha’s birthday on the 6th.. which also happens to be the same day that Kak Zee and Abang ghazali was going back to Malaysia.. along with kak Suriati and her 2 kids.. I gave Sasha a new watch and some valentine candles.. I didn’t know that she needed a watch but when she opened the box she was so happy to have received a watch because she actually needed one very much.. I am glad that she liked me.. she couldn’t stop talking about it.. like yesterday we were on our way to the gym and she looked at her watch to see the time and she smiled to me and said how much she likes it repeatedly.. “I’ll never be late again” she kept saying day by day.. I am really thrilled that she likes it.. it’s one thing to give gifts , but the real joy is knowing that the receiver really likes it.. it was also Aisyah, my sister’s bithday this month [on the 8th] I gave her some of my holiday pictures through mail.. I have some other gifts for her but I never post gifts through the mail.. so I didn’t plan to do that this time too.. they understand though, which is why they are always so excited to hear about me coming back on a holiday.. cause I always bring back gifts.. hehhe..

Right now, I have 3 printers at home.. we tried to hook it up on my computer but they were all incompatible with my Window XP,and the ones that did had the dry ink problem.. so Sasha and I have decided to sell the ones we have and just buy a new printer [I have a 100 dollar gift card from best buy, so buying a new printer there woiuld just be the same as getting a new one for free] Actually i‘m not planning to sell the printer kak ija left me, cause we could hook it up to Sasha’s computer instead.

What I really need is a new pair of shoes..but I think I’ll get one once I have all this tax refund thing sorted out ..

The winter Olympics have begun on the 8th of February in Salt Lake City.. we saw the opening ceremony.. personally I don’t think that it was appropriate for the American to drag in the flag from the rubbles of the 11th of September attack .. what is the significance of that.. then the show was rather long and boring.. I can still remember the last summer Olympics opening.. and the ones years before that too.. why does it seem so much better.. even Sasha and her boyfriend says that too…at home we are supporting the Russian team.. [we thought that the Americans have enough supporters already.. hehhe] .. we watched part of the figure skating last night.. Marcel and Wira came over and tried Sasha little meat dish and then we went to buy groceries together.. I think we were stocking up for the whole semester or something.. we bought a lot of stuff.. and of course I bought my all time favourite pineapple too… Surprisingly, Sasha likes them too..

KASIH SAYANG - RAIHAN

Kasih sayang itu titi...
Kasih sayang penghubung hati
Kasih sayang itu tali...
Kasih sayang pengikat diri

Dari kasih timbul simpati
Dengan sayang ada persaudaraan
Kerana kasih ingin berbakti
Saling sayang maaf memaafkan

Kasih sayang itu baja
Kasih sayang penyubur jiwa
Kasih sayang itu penawar
Penguat cinta penghapus duka

Kasih manusia sering bermusim
Sayang manusia tiada abadi
Kasih Tuhan tiada bertepi
Sayang Tuhan janji-Nya pasti

Tanpa kasih sayang Tuhan
Tiada simpati tiada persaudaraan
Tanpa kasih sayang Tuhan
Tiada bakti tiada kemaafan

Kasih sayang pada semua
Kasih sayang sasama kita
Kasih sayang Oooooo dunia
Moga selamat di akhirat sana