JUSTIFY

Something very unexpected happened recently, something wonderful and very exciting but I'm not going to elaborate right now cause I'm at my peak of semester right now.. My deadline for the Greek Mythology class is next Monday.. Thus I will be doing my final exam on Friday of this week... My Process Control Final exam has been forwarded on the Commencement Day, so I have another Final next Friday too and inevitably, on the Finals Week I have another two Final Exams.. and before next week I have to complete an essay for my environmental class (due this Friday actually), another two entry for another IDL class, a lab report for my Process Control class and a couple homeworks..
Everything needs to be done before Monday.. so if I don't pick up the phone that's probably cause I've turned the ringer off [can't afford to get a PA yet, but you can still leave a message on my answering machine], and if my IM's status is on 'busy' that means I am busy [I can also be reached through email].. please understand..

BIDAAH..
I was taking a break from my hectic studies and I went to the Persisma (Persatuan Siswa/Siswasah Malaysia) website, someone highlighted that gathering to read the yaasin in hope that Allah would grant our hajat is bidaah. This is the first time I had heard of such a statement, and I felt that I don't have enough knowledge to say anything on this subject. My general thought is that we are encouraged to read the Quran, and since yaasin is part of the Quran, we are encouraged to read yaasin.. regardless of what day or what time of the day we read it in.. and why does it matter if we read it alone or in a group? I don't see any thing negative that would come out of gathering on a Friday night after maghrib to read the Quran together.. If we have a hajat or a doa, we are encouraged to seek it from Allah.. for He is the One and only who has the power to will anything that He wishes.. With that in mind, I realise that I am in no position to say what is right and what is wrong on a topic that I am struggling to understand.. I don't want to just accept the statement without examining its authenticity, so I searched for more information on this topic. I urge anyone who knows anything on this topic to please enlighten me, so that it doesn't just float on my mind and gets blown in the wind...I hope that I am not stuck somewhere in a cloud of misconceptions.. "Ya Allah, please guide me back to your righteous path".. I am amazed that there are more stuff that is considered bidaah that I have no knowledge of. On some sites that I looked at they were quite firm in their belief that it is considered kufur if we do something bidaah, then there's also sites that say that there are bidaah hasanah (good), and bidaah dhalalah (bad).. and that there's actually nothing wrong in practicing bidaah hasanah..

"I'tiqad atau pegangan hati yang bidaah dan salah lagi kufur jika diamalkannya. Ianya banyak didapati pada orang-orang Melayu dan lain-lainnya. Kesesatan mereka itu amat banyak"

I found this from a source from Brunei, his/her language is not fully Malay but I think my fellow Malaysians would still be able to understand it:

Bidaah ada 2 jenis: Bidaah adalah perkataan arab yang membawa maksud MENGADA-ADAKAN SUATU PERKARA YANG TIADA (DALAM ISLAM). Inda semua perkara bidaah atu sesat. Ada jua bidaah yang baik. Sebagai contohnya ialah berkenaan dengan solat Terawih. Terawih ani dalam bahasa melayu bermaksud "berehat-rehat". Pada zaman rasul dulu orang sembahyang terawih akan berhenti sebentar berehat-rehat pada setiap 4 rakaat. Tapi zaman sekarang dibuat terus tanpa henti. Sembahyang terawih ani pada asalnya dibuat oleh Rasulullah secara berseorangan, bukan berjemaah. Kisahnya lebih kurang seperti berikut. Pada malam pertama Nabi sembahyang terawih dimasjid berseorangan dan dilihat oleh sahabat tanpa diikut. Pada malam kedua Nabi solat lagi dimasjid tapi kali ini diikut oleh sahabat. Pada malam ketiga Nabi inda datang solat terawih dimasjid. Pada malam keempat, Nabi solat terawih dengan diikut (makmum) oleh sahabat. Lalu sahabat bertanya, kenapa baginda inda datang pada malam ketiga ?. Dijawab Nabi, baginda takut solat terawih atu nanti diwajibkan oleh Allah swt kepada umatnya. Begitu kasihnya baginda sampai inda mau menyusahkan umatnya. Tahukah anda berapa rakaat Nabi solat terawih ?. Tidak lebih dari 8 rakaat. Kenapa kitani melakukan 20 rakaat sekarang. Bukankah ani bidaah kerana inda dibuat oleh Nabi. Kisahnya macam ani pula. Apabila Saidina Umar melihat kaum muslimin solat terawih tapi inda dalam satu tempat (bertaburan), beliau melihat perkara atu nampak inda bagus. Lalu diperintahkannya supaya umat muslimin solat terawih berjemaah di Masjid dan dibuat sebanyak 20 rakaat. Beliau berkata "ini adalah bidaah yang baik". Bagi aku sendiri aku lebih suka solat terawih sebanyak 8 rakaat kerana untuk mendapatkan 2 pahala sunat iaitu pahala sunat terawih dan pahala kerana mengikut sunnah nabi. Talkin ani hukumnya sunat mengikut sepakat ulama. Ceritanya ada disini . Mengenai dengan kenduri arwah atu sebenarnya niat tuan rumah adalah untuk menghadiahkan pahala bersedekah jamuan makanan atu untuk simati supaya dapat rahmat Allah. Ani pun sunat kata Ibnu Hajar. Dalilnya ialah hadis yang bermaksud "Sesungguhnya seorang lelaki telah berkata kepada Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam: "Sesungguhnya ibuku telah meninggal secara tiba-tiba dan aku menyangka apabila dia (dapat) berkata-kata maka pasti dia akan bersedekah, apakah aku (dapat) bersedekah untuknya?" Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam bersabda: "Ya, bersedekahlah untuknya". (Hadis riwayat Al-Bukhari).
Tapi yang inda lurusnya orang kitani menetapkan hari ke 7, 40 hari dan sebagainya. Ianya sunat dilakukan pada bila-bila masa.

This explanation is more clearer:

PERSOALAN BIDAAH
Bidaah ialah sesuatu amalan yang tidak berlaku semasa Rasulullah s.a.w. Bidaah ada dua iaitu bidaah hasanah (baik) dan bidaah dholalah (sesat atau jahat). Kesimpulannya ialah haram mengada-ngadakan sesuatu amalan yang menyesatkan, membawa kejahatan, merugikan atau mencampakkan kita ke dalam kebinasaan. Sebaliknya mengada-ngadakan sesuatu amalan yang baik, menguntungkan, membawa ke jalan yang benar adalah diharuskan dengan syarat tidak bertentangan dengan al-Qur’an dan hadis. Dalam erti kata lain, berpandukan kepada al-Qur’an dan sunah nabi. Contohnya ialah institusi kewangan misalnya Bank Islam, Takaful, Tabung Haji dan sebagainya tidak ada pada zaman Rasulullah s.a.w. tetapi wujud pada zaman sekarang. Ternyata institusi seperti ini membantu memajukan umat Islam. Jadi usaha para pelatih dan staf akademik yang beragama Islam di maktab bersama-sama mengadakan majlis membaca Yassin dan tahlil khusus buat arwah kakak Si Rakan itu adalah satu usaha yang baik--pada saya termasuk dalam bidaah hasanah.

Memang betul ada hadis nabi yang bermaksud "Apabila mati anak Adam maka akan terputuslah amalannya melainkan tiga iaitu “ilmu yang dimanfaatkan, sedekah jariah (berkekalan atau berpanjangan) dan anak soleh yang mendoakannya". Bacaan Yasin dan tahlil yang telah dibacakan untuk arwah itu boleh juga dimasukkan ke dalam kategori anak soleh yang mendoakannya. Pandangan saya ialah anak yang soleh bukan bermakna anak kandung sahaja, barangkali anak murid, anak tiri, anak susuan atau anak angkat dan sebagainya.

Satu perkara lagi ialah saya teringat maksud hadis nabi "...subhanallah, alhamdulillah, lailahaillallah dan Allahu Akbar boleh memenuhi/menjadi berat mizan (timbangan) kebaikan di hari akhirat".

Satu perkara lagi ialah maksud ayat al-Qur’an "Sesungguhnya orang mukmin itu bersaudara". Salah satu daripada sumbangan yang dapat diberikan kepada saudara yang telah mati ialah mendoakan si mati. Jadi selepas membaca Yasin dan tahlil selalunya diikuti dengan doa untuk arwah yang tertentu. Sebab itu, saya katakan bacaan Yasin dan tahlil membawa kebaikan kepada si mati dan juga kepada yang masih hidup terutamanya sesiapa sahaja yang berada di dalam majlis tahlil dan membaca Yasin itu. Hadis nabi yang lain bermaksud "doa adalah otak ibadah". Keduanya ialah "doa senjata orang-orang mukmin". Jadi banyak-banyaklah berdoa—insya-Allah dimakbulkan.

Itu sahajalah jawapan saya. Sekiranya bertentangan dengan ilmu Allah saya minta ampun kepada Allah. Saya harap saya dapat menjawab soalan yang telah dikemukakan. Sekiranya tidak terjawab, saya mohon saudara-saudara saya yang seagama dengan saya menambah. Saya bukanlah terbaik antara kalian dan dalam keadaan masih mencari ilmu Allah yang banyaknya tanpa batas. Kalau saya salah sila betulkan saya. Kalau ada soalan ekor, silakan.

Wassalam.

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Jawapan Ustaz Ali Muda

Assalamualaikum saudara,

Syabas di atas keprihatinan saudara terhadap persoalan agama ini. Permintaan saudara supaya saya senaraikan seberapa banyak yang mungkin amalan bid`ah yang diamalkan oleh orang Melayu tidak dapatlah saya tunaikan di sini.
Sebenarnya persoalan bid`ah ini telah dibahaskan terlalu lama oleh ulama Islam dan mereka ada perselisihan tentang beberapa perkara, mana satu hasanah dan mana satu yang dhalalah. Secara pasti, semua perkara keagamaan yang tidak ada nas dalam al-Quran atau hadis sahih adalah bid`ah. Tetapi kita dapati ada sahabat besar r.a. yang telah melakukan beberapa perkara yang mendatangkan kebaikan kepada umat, tetapi tidak dinaskan oleh Nabi s.a.w. Kita mesti ingat bahawa para sahabat r.a. adalah orang yang paling faham terhadap pengajaran Nabi s.a.w. Oleh kerana itu saya berpendapat bahawa hadis sahih yang mengatakan "semua bid`ah itu adalah sesat dan semua yang sesat itu akan ke neraka" adalah hadis yang perlu kepada takwilan dan tafsiran ulama yang mursyid lagi sederhana.

Namun ini tidak bermakna saya bersetuju dengan semua amalan orang melayu yang tiada nas seperti solat fidyah, solat hadiah, solat nisfu sya`ban dan macam-macam solat yang tiada kena mengena dengan solat Nabi s.a.w. Saya berpendapat dalam ibadat khusus seperti solat, zakat, haji, tidak boleh langsung ada bid`ah kerana ia merupakan `ibadah mahdhah (ibadat kepada Allah semata-mata). Berbeza dengan ibadat2 yang ada kaitan dengan kemaslahatan umat Islam seperti pengumpulan al-Quran, membesarkan masjid, tahlil dan seumpamanya.

Walau bagaimanapun, umat Islam sudah boleh menjadi umat yang terbaik dengan hanya mengikuti apa yang Nabi s.a.w. lakukan menurut nas al-Quran dan hadis sahih. Kalau tidak tambah amalan2 bid`ah pun, umat Islam tak akan rugi, bahkan lebih terjamin keasliannya seperti keaslian generasi yang pertama (para sahabat r.a.).

Tetapi untuk mengata sesuatu amalan itu bid`ah yang perlu dicegah dalam masyarakat, memerlukan kepada fiqh yang mendalam. Saya tidak sokong 100% golongan tua yang suka mempertahankan sesuatu yang kadang2 tiada nas langsung dalam Islam. Saya juga tidak bersetuju dengan golongan muda yang dikenali oleh sesetengah orang sebagi Wahabi atau Salafi yang ghairah menentang dan menimbulkan kontroversi dalam masyarakat berkenaan semua perkara bid`ah. Perkara kecil diperdebatkan secara besar-besaran sehingga memakan masa bertahun-tahun. Sebabnya, kedua-dua pihak yang bertelagah itu tidak sedikit pun menguntungkan umat Islam. Masa habis dengan serang menyerang antara satu sama lain, kadang2 dengan kata2 yang amat kesat.

Saya berpendapat umat Islam khususnya orang Melayu, perlu mengambil jalan sederhana. Tinggalkan terus larangan2 Nabi s.a.w. Ibadat khusus jangan ditambah-tambah sesuka hati dengan sangkaan ianya ibadat kepada Allah. Amalan2 yang boleh membawa kebaikan kepada masyarakat secara umumnya seperti tahlil, zikir munajat, talqin dan seumpamanya boleh diamalkan bagi yang hendak mengamalkannya. Pihak yang tidak mahu mengamalkannya tidak perlu mencegah kerana ia bukanlah sesuatu yang mungkar dan jangan sekali-kali buat kecoh dalam masyarakat. Orang yang tak mahu buat, diam sahajalah. Kita perlukan 'fiqh inkar al-munkar' (kefahaman tentang tatacara pencegahan mungkar), iaitu hendaklah perkara yang disepakati oleh seluruh ulama Islam sebagi satu kemungkaran dan maksiat sahaja yang wajib dicegah. Apatah lagi, syarat pencegahan suatu perkara yang disepakati sebagi mungkar pun, dikehendaki tidak membawa kepada mungkar yang lebih besar. Saya dapati pencegahan perkara yang dikatakan bid`ah oleh sesetengah pihak ( iaitu perkara yang tidak disepakati sebagai mungkar) boleh menimbulkan mungkar yang lebih besar iaitu perpecahan dan tuduh menuduh dalam masyarakat. Ini bukan kehendak Islam.

Ketahuilah, bahawa apa yang dicegah oleh Syeikh Muhammad bin Abdul Wahhab (pengasas fahaman Wahabi) adalah perkara yang terang2 bid`ah seperti bermunajat atau tawassul di kubur2 yang dipercayai keramat, di batu2 besar, kerana perkara itu boleh mendatangkan syirik. Pihak yang suka buat perkara2 yang tak ada nas pula, janganlah terlalu membuka pintu yang luas kepada perkara2 itu, kerana lama kelamaan boleh membawa kepada kesesatan yang tidak diakui oleh Nabi s.a.w. Cukuplah berpada dengan apa yang Nabi s.a.w. tinggalkan, kita akan selamat.

Sekian jawapan saya, waLlahu a`lam bis sawaab.

PUBLIC SAFETY AND HAZARD ANNOUNCEMENT

Due to personal reasons that I cannot reveal here, I shall be gone for a few days.. don't ask me where, and don't ask me why.. and for your own safety, don't try to contact me.. for the next couple of days, I am what they call "the Invisible Woman"...

Don't leave the light on for me...

HOW ARE YOU HONEY?
Nowadays everytime I read the local news or talk to my parents or anyone in Asia I would ask if they are well because of fears related to the SARS.. My mum told me that she read in the papers that this disease is spreading among the pork-eaters.. non of the victims have been Muslims so far.. I even asked my friend in Japan and he said that people there are walking around wearing masks initially for the fear of the influenza virus and now the SARS virus.. Monina has been so kind as to distribute some interesting information which is shedding light to the information which my mum has told me.. and I wanted to share some citings from it with my fellow readers.

TIME ASIA ONLINE, 7 April, 2003, 'The Breeding Grounds' "Pigs are particularly dangerous,because they can be infected by human viruses and those from animals such as rodents and fowl, making them the most potent mixing vessels in which pathogens can mutate and jump from animal species to humans. It's no surpise, then, that southern China is thought to have been ground zero for the deadly SARS virus. For centuries, Guangdong province has had the world's largest concentration of humans, pigs and fowl living in close proximity, explaining why many influenza outbreaks can be traced back to that region." - TIME ASIA ONLINE.

GLOBE AND MAIL, April 11, 2003 'Asians No SARS Risk, PM Says, "A team of German researchers said the new pathogen is only distantly related to known coronaviruses. A second team of international researchers also revealed to known coronaviruses. A second team of international researchers also revealed a tantalizing clue about the origins of SARS: They found that the new human coronavirus behaves in a manner almost identical to a coronavirus that caused an outbreak of respiratory disease among pigs in China.

This suggests the pathogen crossed the species barrier from pigs to humans. The researchers also sugguested the new virus be named Urbani SARS-related coronavirus, in honour of Carlos Urbani, the Italian doctor credited with spotting the outbreak, who died of SARS."

Dr Mark Salter: 'I think the likelihood of this being connected to any terrorist reaction is so small as to be not a realistic option. The reason I say that is we are looking at major agent that seems to be causing this is called the corona virus - they are commonly found in the environment, and corona viruses are responsible for about 15 - 20% of colds in human beings. We also know that they can cause particularly severe disease in pigs and other animals. So these viruses are not uncommon. We also know that some of the corona viruses are able to change when they pass through the pigs and various other animals that they infect and, it seems highly likely that what we're seeing is perhaps a pig virus that for whatever reason has changed slightly and been able to get into human beings and now we're seeing it's spreading and causing this problem.

Allah berfirman didalam Al-Quran:
"SESUNGGUHNYA ALLAH TELAH MENGHARAMKAN KEPADA MU BANGKAI, DARAH DAN DAGING BABI."
- ( Surah Al-Baqarah Ayat 173 )

On the lighter side, I talked to Maria (my cousin's wife) and she told me that she might be able to make it to my graduation ceremony next month.. I'm so happy that I'm going to see them soon.. I think maybe after the MG I might drive over to see them..

They're giving away free breakfast again at the UV dorm.. I'm thinking maybe they're trying to encourage us to get up and go to the early morning classes.. I only have one class at 9 in the morning and my next class is at 2.30.. so I'm home for now trying to finish off some hw.

Angela got her first car this weekend.. it's actually her dad's old BUICK, which is still in a good condition with leather seats and is not really that old.. her dad got a new car which is actually a more newer version of the same model in a different color.. We're both excited cause from now on we don't have to rely on anyone to take us to go get groceries and stuff.. She took me to class this morning when she had to move the car.. Later this evening we're going to Petsmart cause I need to get new fish food cause the old one keeps murking up the water.. I've decided to name the two Beta fish Dwayne and Daria.. Daria is from the Cartoon Goddess: Daria Morgendorffer of MTV's, which is very slow and sort of sarcastic.. I choose Dwayne cause I like the way it sounds [ Especially when Afro-American people pronounce it ].. to me I think it sounds wacky, which matches the fish's hyper-crazy-cool attitute [fish has attitute?]

RANDOM THOUGHTS...

Just found out that there's a new soda drink out in the market.. Tropical Sprite Remix.. Obey your thirst!
Hershey also has a new limited edition Toffee and Almond Kisses

Anyway, I'm not out to promote a new product but I am hoping to promote my new chatterbox..[Waheyy..].. So far I'm chatting with myself [just comes to show how excited I am..*pathetic me*.. ] Feel free to add something..

Anyway, some highlights of the week..
Wednesday : other sister's birthday (Husna's)
Thursday : Qamar's birthday.
Friday: soccer night.
saturday : the girls are coming over for 'you-know-what' for 'you-know-when'....
Sunday night : Fajarrani, Joe and me are planning to treat Vikesh, Jin and Qamar to celebrate their birthday.

The best thing of all is that it's warm gain.. hooray, throw out your gloves and put on those sunglasses...

Later alligator!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST NORA, MY SISTA


"Amir, Noris, Nora.. mari turun bawah minum teh.. mama dah masak cokodok.."

"Jap maa... nak tukar baju jap" I said as I changed from my baju kurung as we just came back from mengaji at our neighbours house. Every evening we would learn to recite the 'muqadam' with Tok Nenek 5 houses down from ours. This was before Masjid Al-Ikhlas was built.

"OK mama.. Nora nak simpan buku jap" yelled my sister from our library on the second floor.. Abang was probably still outside putting his bike away..
I ran down the flight of stairs just as any hyper 5 year old would.. then my speed was slowed at the sight of Nora coming out of the library at the top of the stairs, a mischevious thought ran through my mind..

"Nora nak gih mana?"

"Nak turun..Mama panggil"

"Tuh Mama Noris laaa "

She looked shocked, "Mama Nora lah"

"Mana ada, siapa kata? Dia ialah Mama Noris masa Nora takder dulu.. siapa bagi Mama kat Nora?"

"Huh.. apa nih Kak Nor?" A frown developed on her cute little face.. she looked confused, my granma had taken care of Nora when we went to Birmingham while Abah did his masters, we have been separated for two years two years before.. she stared at me..

I tried to keep my face straight but after a while this 4 year old looked uttery confused and I couldn't carry on anymore.. I hugged her before she started bawling.. "Apa lah Nora nih.. Mama Noris pun mestilah Mama Nora gak.." I smiled and took her hand in mine.. we walked together down the stairs to the dining table..


*******************************************************************************************

I'm working on the Photo Journal project.. but right now I'm updating the Walt Disney World photo journal.. it's almost done.. take a look and gimme your comment...
Enjoy...

Oh yeah, I talked to abah today.. that silver award that he won last week was from the 31st Geneva International Invention and Exposition.. I congratulated him and told him that he's an intelligent scientist.. he corrected me" Not a scientist.. an inventor" we laughed...

ZzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [qada' tido..]

SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE

I can feel the cold sweats forming.. and no matter how many layers I'm wearing I can still feel the chill..
ten minutes before my exam today, I was actually sick.. I felt it coming as I was waiting for the bus.. but I was scared that if I run to the lady's I'd miss the bus.. so I got on anyway.. well, I didn't get to my final destination.. I was on the verge of exploding.. so just one stop before the west bank.. I ran as fast as my legs would allow and went into FordH.. just had to get the entire content of my gut out.. felt slightly better afterwards, felt even better when I got to the exam in time.. felt much, much better when it's over..

Well the show must go on..
can't stop just yet.. still need to finish writing up my report on a new design of Lithium Cobalt Dioxide, LiCoO2, secondary battery for Insulin Pumps for the design project which is due tomorrow.. the boys says that I'm the big boss in this whole project cause I seem to be doing almost everyone's share.. so when I asked them what we should name our company to promote the new product, Qamar said after not-so-much-though "We should name it NORISK" [as in 'no risk' cause our battery is a reliable design to help diabetic patients get sufficient insulin without the pain of injections] .. Jason agreed automatically, they even treated me to lunch today.. I'll feel so much better when this week is over..

Tonight I'll be pulling another all-nighter, I need to write a 5-page paper on 'Whether Genetically Modified is an Environmentally Sound Way of Increasing Food Production.'

Oh Friday.. you're always a day away!!!

The more I feel I have to type up a paper, the more I find myself here.. taking guilty breaks from 'things I should be doing now' and moving to 'things I could do later'..

So anyway I just came back from work. Surprizingly, Liz was there.. she came because she wanted to interview me for her course paper that she needs to write.. I asked her who else will she interview and she said "Just you." .. so basically the whole 5 page paper will be based on my perception of the cultural clash between the American and the Malaysian lifestyle... I told her that I don't think my views can be used to represent the whole Malaysian perception just because I grew up in an European setting back in England and I didn't really experience much of the 'cultural shock' because I had experienced similar lifestyle once before.. so I told her stuff about the way our culture works, and how we are in a way more conservative compared to the Americans, especially in our daily conducts and the respect we have for our family members, as well as friends. Like this morning I heard [on the radio] how a woman was complaining that the budget cuts by the state government is affecting the way her mother is being treated in the old folks home.. she is blaiming the government for the way her mother is being treated in her old age.. if she thinks that the lack of nurses at the old folks home [due to budget cuts] is going to proportionally reflect the lack of care that she will be getting.. then she should take the responsibility and care for her mother [as she should have been doing all along]..it saddens me but that's the way it works at this end of the world... Na'uzubillahi min zalik...
I hope my kids will look after me with love and tender care, otherwise just let me grow old in love and iman with my life companion.. Amin..

i once read [in a book that Kak Ijah gave to me] that Abdullah bin Amru bin Al Ash r.a berkata:
Bersabda Rasullulah SAW "Dunia ini adalah perhiasan dan sebaik-baik perhiasan ialah wanita (isteri) yang solehah." (Riwayat Muslim)

KEPERIBADIAN WANITA REMAJA

Nilai Kecantikan Wanita,
Nafsu mengatakan 'perempuan cantik atas dasar rupanya'
Akal mengatakan 'perempuan cantik atas dasar ilmu dan kepandaiannya'
Dan hati mengatakan 'perempuan cantik atas dasar akhlaknya'.

Kaum wanita,
usah bangga dengan kecantikan
kerana ia hanya dicintai oleh nafsu
tidak oleh akal dan hati

Orang yang bijaksana itu
tidak jauh hati pada perempuan kerana kecantikannya
tapi kerana perjuangannya..


Ya Allah Tuhanku,
Ampunkanlah dosa-dosa ku, serta dosa kedua ibubapaku
Berikanlah rahmat dan hidayatmu,
Terangkanlah hatiku, tenangkanlah fikiranku,
Golongkanlah kami sebagai ummat Islam yang beriman kepadamu.. Amin

FIRE ALARM TESTINGS
Though of running from the cold by coming home and studying, Could even pray with ease before my next class.. Just my luck, the building is having a fire alarm test.. the alarm keeps beeping randomly and it keeps jolting me from my concentration.. the sharp pitch of the shrill alarm is gonna drive me nuts..

Outside it's so cold and wet, it's so much more comfortable inside.. Now that I've lost my concentration from studying I've decided to visit some other sites and do a little non-academic readings.. I found that Fiejo, Elyn and Amalin has a blog now.. the cool thing is that they all have a chatterbox thing.. I'm feeling quite left behind.. maybe I should get one too... what do you think??

MORNING MOANINGS

Could anyone help me get rid of all this 'pop up' advertisements.. maybe with a anti pop up software or something
it's just typical isn't it? first, it's junk mail, then it's junk email, then its stupid forwards.. now it's pop-up advertisements.. enough already, if I want a mini wireless camera, I'm sure I'll search for it.. If I want to go to the Univ. of Phoenix, I'm sure I'll apply for it.. If I want to buy something from eBay.. I'm sure I'll go to eBay.. just leave me alone... what annoys me even more is those ads that have sounds.. I'm peacefully listening to my hand-picked-selected-study-mood-music and all of a sudden a pop-up appears and simulates a conversation with you "Ever feel tired of being single? Click here and meet your eligible soulmate just waiting to talk to you" [Ok I made that up in order to protect some other company, but what I'm trying to say is that if I want to find my soulmate through some online dating agency, I'll look it up, but I'm not!].. it's not funny, most of the time [if not all the time] these ads are non-related to anything I'm ever interested in.. if anyone has something to help me get rid of this annoying thing, please let me know..

The weather isjust crappy out there.. Rain and snow with a high of 44 and a low of 30 F .. we went from the sunny tropical weather straight to the gloomy arctic freeze.. from flip-flop slippers to thick laced up 'kickers'.. cotton to wool.. pink to purple.. sunglasses to gloves..

anyway, I better go now so that I wouldn't miss the bus, it's raining out there [looks scary] and I have an 8 o'clock class once again..
Hooray for 'pay days'...!!

Be a friend to him who is your friend,
and give your company to him that seeks it.
Give whoso gives, and give not whoso gives not:
to a giver one gives, to an ungiver none gives.
Give is good, Snatch bad, a giver of death.
~ Hesiod, a Greek poet from the 8th century in his poem "Works and Days"

Dear Diary,

In these critical academic times, the change in weather has once again taken its annual toll on my immune system...my initial suspicion was that the dust accumulating on the surface of my household appliances are causing an allergic reaction to my respitory system.. Due to this assumption, I have taken the initiative to plan several actions to combat this problem..

Fortunately the outdoor temperature had climbed up to 92 yesterday and so I took the liberty of opening windows with the intention of circulating the air within the apartment. I also sprinkled carpet and room deodorizer, which claims to conquer the domestic problems of eliminating deep-down odors caused by pet odors, dampness and mildew as well as smoke, throughout the house excluding Angela's private space, i.e, her bedroom, which is out of bound to me. My consequtive action was to vacuuum the whole apartment as previously planned. I had predicted that this would somehow improve my health condition which would simultaneously prove my theory that I am just allergic to the dust.

I later discovered that this was not the case. Even though the condition of air has somewhat improved, I was still sneezing.. and the deviation of my body temperature from its steady state temperature was becoming more apparent. However, the outdoor temperature today has decreased within the predicted temperature range of 40-75F. Currently the temperature is T=55F. If my bodily condition has not improved within the next few hours I will have to take more precaution safety actions to prevent any further health deterioration. Chemical suppliments in the form of pharmaceutical pills would have to be taken to aid the recovery back to the desired setpoint.

My other concern is that the water in my fish tank has reached 82F(28C), It is recommended that for tropical fish such as the ones swimming merrily in my aquarium should be kept in the water temperature of 75
For the time being I am consuming a lot of juice with the intention of increasing my body's immune level with the aid of vitamin C in the juice. I hope that my current condition will not affect my academic progress as I have a few important events happening this week, such as a Theatre midterm on Thursday a final Process Design report and an Environmental Paper due Friday. Presently I am working on finishing an entry for my Mythology IDL class, which I plan to mail at noon today.

SHE WAS QUEEN FOR ABOUT AN HOUR, AFTER THAT SHE'S GOTTEN SOUR

Not feeling too grand right now, I have an eight o'clock class to go to and I can't seem to stop sneezing since last night.. don't think I'm allergic to pollen.. I've never been before.. maybe it's time to vacuum the carpet again... well, better go before I miss the bus..

later alligator

HIGH 82 LOW 55

The current weather status is absolutely gorgeous.. This is by my definition, the 'ideal' weather.. sunny yet breezy, warm but not humid.. They should next abolish school and those worry some classes to make things better..[ pink healthy fingers, not purple.. :) ]

Had a soccer practice today at noon.. that went well.. afterwards we were discussing about the MG performance, apparently our University has been given a 15 minute slot to perform during the Embassader's Award Dinner.. so 'persisma' had their small meeting yesterday and they kind of came up with a plan.. this should be fun...won't say anything more about that, don't wanna spoil the surprise..

ahh.. blogging.. It's been a while I know, nothing particularly interesting has happened.. just 'enjoying' this college life, regardless of all its ups and downs.. and hence the uncompleted, unpreogressive "California Photo Journal Project", neglected and untouched.. It's just not time yet I guess.. just as well cause my camera had just resigned too, so I'll need to get a new one for the Commencement Ceremony and Midwest Games that's just around the bend.. [Good timing guys, just when I'm broke!]

Well I suppose it's my own fault that I'm broke.. See, the thing is I went a little fish crazy recently.. as we all know, after the fish drama thingie.. I started my Betta fish collection. after a while I needed to get some water treatment stuff so I went back to Petsmart, Adam was pesking me about getting the 10 gallon fish tank that was on sale.. and after a long session of pure persuading, I gave in and we got a trolley and started filling in aquarium stuff.. we got the gravel/pellets, then some decorative plants and fake coral reefs, then we started picking out our fish.. I'm not sure what their names are but we got 4 different type of fish..[was tempted to say fishes then, but had just remembered Amanda telling me yesterday that fish is plural].. 12 little ones all together.. so next I started looking for water filters and after we're done inquiring about the different types of water filters, the pet-shop-guy started asking us about water heaters, thermometer, lights, background setting and fish food.. kinda freaked me out there.. how much do you expect me to trash out on fish? So we asked if there's a cheaper way of starting up an aquarium.. so he showed us this other 10 gallon aquarium starters kit.. it's got all the water treatment stuff, water filter, fish food, water heater, thermometer, lights and off course the tank.. so we got that instead and now its all set and running smoothly.. I talked to my mum this morning and she asked me why I did this.. I just told her I needed something alive to hang out with me if I stay up all night studying..[which at the pace my IDL class is going.. I'm sure I'll be doing quite a bit of staying up in the next couple of weeks]

Got a letter from my desk-mate from MRSM, she had just recently graduated and is in the process of trying to get a job.. well it doesn't look that bright right now.. had a talk with my ex's wife a couple days back too and she told me that her friends who's graduated a few years back are still having problems finding a job, even a few of her seniors are currently unemployed.. Fortunately, my brother found one already.. but that still doesn't guarantee much for me.. ikut rezeki masing2 la.. Maybe I should consider Grad School... [??] Abang's graduation ceremony is in October, Nora will be done in November and I'll be done in December.. wish I could take Inorganic Chem this summer and just get it all done with.. but the class is once a year and it happens to be in the Fall semester... I have absolutely nothing to do this summer.. guess I'll just have to take an easy 1xxx level class to pass the time..maybe GER1002.. maybe a one credit PhyEd class.. I donno !!

Abah is in Geneva right now.. he went to the World's Annual Scientist Convention.. He was working on a project something to do with refrigerators or heat exchanger device.. and his design won second place.. Mama says Abah called and told her of his winnings and it's even in the newspaper.. He'll be going to Amsterdam in the next two days and will return back home soon..

Husna on the other hand, had her share of good news too.. she got a call from a Petronas officer saying that her interview with Petronas has shown that she has been choosen to accept their scholarship and that her letter of acceptance is being sent out.. but she's still unsure whether they will give her engineering or medicine.. her JPA interview also went well.. they told her that they wanted to send her either to Japan or Korea but she didn't accept it because they would only give her scholarship if she would do engineering.. I hope Petronas will sponsor her to do medic..

Went to watch ANGER MANAGEMENT last night.. that's like my break of the week, well I can't really say that actually cause on Friday night I also took another break from studying and went to Kak Siti/Abg Razeman's house for dinner.. I miss the family life atmosphere.. Her mother and in-laws came too... Been in town for a while now and they will be leaving soon.. That was a pleasant evening.. and now that the weekend is almost over, it's time for some seriousness again... anyone care to help me with this Ziegler-Nichols Tuning Rules ..?

COUNTDOWN

This week I'll be busy with my Process Design II final presentation and also trying to finish of our Final report.. so that means that my busy alert has gone from yellow to orange which means that I guess there'll be less blogging and more "you-know-what"...
it's 46 days to the midwest games
with my finals starting on the 9th of May, I have about 30 days to get ready for the exams..
30 days to the commencement ceremony.. [yesterday I went to the Senior Send-off Luncheon.. everyone seems excited to graduate..]
I also have approximately 4 weeks to finish off my IDL "Greek and Roman Mythology" class...
the countdown has begun..

Anyway, to continue on my little fish drama.. I went to Petsmart with Adam that Saturday and as soon as we got there Adam started pesking me about getting an aquarium cause they were on sale.. I don't think I'd have space to put it at in my apartment so I don't think I should buy one.. so next I started looking for a fish to replace Anthony, and somehow they all look so good, so we eneded up buying 3 fishies.. Adam got one, I got one and we got one for Angela.. but since Adam is always away on business, we decided to get a small tank with two separator to put the two fishes in.. our fishes was a betta so trhey can't be in the same tank together otherwise they'll fight to death.. one is in blue and the other is red.. I found out later that the blue one is male and the red one is female.. I thinking of giving it names.. any ideas?

Angela wasn't mad at me.. when I gave her the new "Anthony" she said "You shouldn't have.. things like that happen all the time".. then I showed her my little 'babies' and she started giving me tips on how I should look after them.. It's all good...

SUCH CHAOS

There's so many things running on my mind.. it's like my thoughts have legs and keeps moving here and there.. playing hide and seek.. making me forget, fondling with my emotions..
Such a chaotic behavior, with unwanted interference and mixed signals.. I have an organizer but I'm still disorganized,
I have a schedule but I never follow it...
Time is moving so fast, I can't catch up anymore.

Talked to Adrin this morning, it's his 25th birthday today and he's getting engaged next month to his secrectary at work who is two years older than him. They'll be married next May. He wants me to come to his wedding next year. We talked for a long time, feels so weird. It seems like it was just yesterday that he came to visit me from his Exxon-Mobil training in Texas, though it was actually last September.

Abang has started work too.. he stopped working with that Japanese company as soon as he found out that he's accepted by Petronas.. he's currently on the one week orientation thing. His starting wage is quite impressive, and he's planning to get married to his long time girlie in two years time, he told mama that he doesn't want to marry anyone other than Lia.. so that's good news. Lia is a year younger than me, so I guess my kakak ipar will be younger than me. My roommate from ppp will also be married soon too, next month actually, with our ppp classmate. So is another atu2 couple..

Strange....Remember how I was talking about wanting a ring for graduation, well I should be careful what I wish for.. there's a red ruby, 14 karat gold ring sitting pretty comfortably on my middle right finger ring now. No, I didn't buy it [you know I couldn't afford it].. I'm feeling very 'patriotic' towards the U right now, last Friday I went and bought a 'UofMn' sweater cause I realised that I haven't bought one yet even though I'm almost done with my 4 year double-degree. Next week I'm thinking of buying another two long sleeved shirts too, one maroon and one in gold/yellow so that our soccer team could wear it for the Midwest Games. The team has given me the honour of becoming the team captain this time. Can't promise anything but we'll try our best [Need to register the team soon]. I also bought a maroon bed sheet set two weeks ago.. seriously, I think I've turned into this neuro-dramatic-shopping-freak. I'm thinking of shipping my stuff back in August and so I'm starting to look at dinnerware [and matching tablecloth and napkins], silverware, bedding and home appliance stuff to buy to send back home. I'm calling home to ask my mum if she wants me to buy anything to add to her Royal Doulton fine china collection.. it's crazy..

One things for sure, I need to buy my groceries today!
I was freaking out this morning while I was making breakfast cause I found out that Anthony (Angela's pet fish) is dead and I think I killed him. What happens was that Anthony's water was getting so murky that I thought I was doing him a favor by cleaning his little pond out cause Angela's been neglecting his cleanliness lately. My big mistake is that I didn't realise that I should have added dechloronator to the tap water. [Damn you halogens!] So I called up Adam and asked him to take me to a fish store so that I could find another "Anthony" and replace it before she finds out, it was too early and Adam was with his family so he told me to tell Angela that I cooked Anthony cause I don't have any food and I'm hungry... that doesn't really solve my problem but I guess it does show how much I need to do get my groceries done.

Anyway, my sis Husna has an interview tomorrow with JPA. She was offered to further her studies in medic either in Australia, Ireland or New Zealand. She should also be getting her results from the last interview with Petronas last Friday,[I haven't called home yet to hear the results] but the thing is Petronas offered her Mechanical Engineering but she told them that she would rather do Medic.. She also got accepted to do her Science Matriks which she should start on Thursday in Perak somewhere if she chooses to accept it.. so many open options.. I'm so happy for her.

Notice how a day after the war, the media calls it the "war on Iraq", and now it's called "operation freedom Iraq".. well no matter what you wanna call it, it still doesn't make it right that these Americans invade a free country in order to eliminate terrorism.. it's like aliens coming to Earth and telling us that they are saving us from our own elected rulers. Americans came to Baghdad and took over their airport, renamed it.. They're forcing these Iraqis to flee their home with a promise of rebuilding it.. [well we know what that's gonna look like..] who wants an 'Americanized' Iraq, with all their oil companies and businesses monopolizing the Iraqi economy. When it's over, I wonder what the Iraqis will think of their "heroes"..

p/s: Don't forget to adjust your clocks today [Spring up, fall down]

SAY MY NAME..

Had a headache last night and so I slept very early last night to compensate for the previous night when I didn't sleep, cramming for my exam. Naturally, I woke up early this morning, so I decided to call my mum.. it's been a while since I talked to her cause for the past weeks, every time I call home I've only had the chance to talk to Abang and my sisters [including Nora who is on her semester break from UUM] cause my parents had gone on holiday to finish off their TANCO Holiday points. Such a shame that the holiday plan that they are on right now doesn't cover international trips to America cause I really do want them to come to my commencement ceremony next month. I bought my graduation gown and tassle yesterday at the GRAD FEST. I was looking at the commemorative rings by Artcarved, which are so expensive that the price of the rings are not even shown in their catalogue or on their website. Supposedly if we buy during the GradFest, we will automatically be receiving $180 off the 14 carat gold rings or something, but even then you'd have to pay a few hundred to own one. I thought, once I get my engagement ring I probably won't wear this 'customized' ring anymore, so I might as well spend 'that' money on something else equally valuable but more useful.

Because of the unstable global tension, a lot of the parents of my international friends have cancelled their flight to America. Abah's 'boikot'ting and doesn't want to spend money on anything American related. So I'm gonna ask Abang Rezal and Maria, my cousin and his wife from Ohio, to come here to share the moment with me instead. My second cousin, Rizal studying in Daytona, Florida had already returned back to Malaysia last semester. I wonder if Rezal went to Rizal's commencement ceremony.. hehe... I know, it sounds weird.. one of my neighbours who I have been growing up with is also a Rizal, then there's also my friend Pablo (another Rizal).. This might be a general assumption but could it be true that everyone in Malaysia either knows or is related to at least one Rizal? Maybe it's true with any other name too..

Like my name for instance, I know at least another 4 people who's name is some form of Isnaini.. there's this one girl who used to take the same school bus with me when I was in standard 2 she was from SRK Kampung Tunku, but her name is really Esnaini [I saw it on her name tag], Then there's this girl from MRSM, [our junior] but it's spelt Iznani.. then just recently I joined ANSERI [MRSM Beseri Alumni Association], one of my (super)^n [where n<13] senior emailed me after he saw my name on the online application form cause we had the same name, I was actually shocked cause he's a guy.. all this time all the Isnaini's I've met are all girls and I have always thought that it's a girls name.. he was excited to hear from another Isnaini too.. His name is Nik Isnaini Arafat or something like that.. so feeling very curious, I went online and searched for Isnaini at www.google.com, I was in even more shock.. all the Isnainis found online are guys.. there's Ahmad Isnaini, who is a freelance web designer, then there's Amirul Isnaini,a well known Indonesian military man [you can read about him in this Indonesian newspaper,Berita Utama.. then there's Muhammad Isnaini, Isnaini Abdillah, Dian Isnaini, Zakki Riyan Isnaini, Rahman Isnaini + etc.. I told my mum that Isnaini is a guy's name..she was shocked too, the prefix "Nor" has a significant effect to make this a feminine name.. a lot of people have commented me that Isnaini is 'sweet' name, and I've always taken that as a compliment, even though I really have no part in coming up with the name.. usually Malaysians would say "emmm.. Isnaini, awak nih lahir hari Isnin ka?" to which I would truthfully answer "yes" but that's not the reason my mum named me that.. In Leeds, when I introduce myself to Arabic-spoken ladies [during any Islamic gatherings that our family attended] they would almost automatically say "Ahhh.. so you are the second child right?" to which I would truthfully answer "yes" once again.. and that's really the main reason this is my name.. so then they'd ask "Is your brother's name Wahid?".. "No, Amir" [a leader or head] ....anyway, one very clear unmistakable connection with all these random Isnaini is that they are all Indonesian.. [I'm speechless.. ]

I've never met anyone with my mum's name, so I went back online and searched for Khashiah, and I found a post graduate student from UiTM whose full name is Khashiah Yusof, it's such a coincidence cause my dad's name is Yusoff.. so [in summary], I know [and love very dearly] a woman named Khasiah who is married to Yusoff and the only other existing person I've found with the same name is Khashiah Yusof [My parent is Khashiah and Yusoff.. Once again I'm speechless... MashaAllah!]

Have you ever heard of The Kabalarian Philosophy, one of its claims is that your name creates the thinking patterns that shape your life. This is what it says about me based on my name;

Isnaini
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your first name of Isnaini has made you a friendly, approachable, and generous person. Generally you are good-natured, though at times you can be blunt and sarcastic. As you are naturally talkative, you find it easy to meet and make friends with many people. This name inclines you to be sympathetic and generous to those in difficult or unfortunate circumstances. You can be firm, positive, and independent in your own ideas and in reaching your own decisions, yet when it comes to taking action or following things through to completion, you often need encouragement. You respond quickly to kind words or any appreciation shown you. There are artistic, creative abilities in this name that you could express through music or singing, or, in a practical way, through sewing or interior decorating. You enjoy freedom from monotony and are stimulated by unexpected opportunities for meeting people, entertaining, or pursuing activities of a carefree nature. In your work, you find it difficult to be neat and orderly. You rarely plan things ahead of time, or follow a routine. Emotion and feeling, the desire to be carefree, friendly, and happy, are the driving forces in your being, rather than shrewdness, ambition, and material success. You could experience headaches, or problems with your teeth, ears, eyes, or sinuses. Health weaknesses relative to the functioning of the liver could appear.

I find that a lot of this is true..sometimes, I do need encouragement in completing something, I'd call up my friends in the middle of my cramming sessions and say" Please remind me why I'm torturing myself for this?" or something like "Please motivate me!" and these are the reasons I'm so grateful for my friends.. [I won't forget to mention your names when I receive my first Grammy! Thanks, I wouldn't be here without you].. sometimes I feel artistic and creative [I do enjoy drawing, sewing, singing and acting] though the media critiques that I'm not really that talented..hehe... and remember that childhood ambition of mine; I wanted to be an architect but most specificly, I wanted to be an interior decorator... yes, I do enjoy this single, happy, carefree freedom.. and I don't think I'm materialistic.. I'm like my dad, if I have I give.. just to make the people I love happy.. I remember when I was little, I was given some money for Eid and I don't know what to do with it so I asked my dad what he does with his money.. and he said that he works hard to give money to those that he loves because when they're happy, he's happy.. so in short, he gives to be happy.. giving makes him happy... through the years, I found that he is by far the most generous person I've ever met.. Alhamdullilah...[not saying that I'd get everything I ask for, which is good at times cause I tend to be too generous to the shops that I visit sometimes.. hehe..]

what's in your name?

California photo-journal project has begun.. but it's still under construction
Yeah.. from left; that's Nadia, me and Ejah goofing in the photo booth one Monday night at Santa Monica beach pier..

"Do you have the time, to listen to me whine.. about nothing and everything all at once... "


Monday... the day of due-dates and the night of trashy-reality-tv-shows.. hectic at day, relaxing at night.. and I'm hooked on Monday night trashy TV shows.. first it was JOE MILLIONAIRE, and now it's MARRIED BY AMERICA.. so why do they have to cancel it tonight??? Do they not know the reason that I scheduled not to work on Monday nights?? Have they no decency? This should've been my reward for cooping up on the weekend and staying up to finish off some last minute assignments...
It must be a sign..
"Arrgh.. quit your moanin'.. Get back to your books.. you have a midterm on Wednesday, lassie!" says the sensible but strangely Scottish voice of me..