The sunrise this morning was beautiful.. pink aurora rays of light blends in with the blue clouds.. a sight rarely seen.. even the weather wasn't that bad this morning, possibly a sign for a wonderful day ahead.
I have just wasted the first two hours of my waking presence just surfing the net.. this job is so boring.. good thing I can study and work at the same time..

I slept late last night, trying to convince Tom that God does exist.. this isn't the first time we talked about this.. afew months back he told me that he's interested in Islam... we borrowed books from the library, translation of the Quran and everything. He even eats halal meat now.. I try to explain things to him as clear as possible.. but for someone who refuses to open up, it is very hard for him to accept things. He wants scientific explanations, he couldn't accept the logical explanations that I gave.. he needs answers... it's hard for him to accept the teachings of Islam, let alone God. It gets very frustrating and sometimes even emotional. The discussion of religion and God has been a debatable issue which could be tracked back from ever since the existence of mankind.. it might be easy to stand up confidently and say what you believe is true but it's another thing to convince someone to agree to you. Phillip, my supervisor, once spent two hours trying to convince me that his religion is the right one. It gets very personal when two different people with different views clash together in this abstract discussion. I can tell him that he should convert to Islam because it is the only religion that will take him to heaven in the afterlife, but he then he would argue with his views. My explanations would be hard for him to accept just as hard as it is for me to accept his diverged views. That was exactly what it was like last night with Tom, he has converted from Christianity to Buddhism to being an Atheist and now he is just lost! He doesn't believe in God , he sees no purpose in life and so he goes by aimlessly searching and looking for answers. So we always go back to the same rhetoric question: "If there is God, why is there suffering?".

There are so many misconceptions in this world that needs to be cleared up but it's not possible to eliminate all of it with answers.. because explanations will only give birth to more questions and so the chain grows unless, in some circumstances, a final conclusion is drawn. I want to help Tom see the light that guides me through this dark tunnel of life, but I don't have all of the answers to his questions.. I can't do it alone. Abang Ghazali gave me two books titled "What everyone should know about Islam and the Muslims" which was written by lady who converted to Islam for about a few decades.. I gave one to Rafique and about a week later the MSA held a forum with the same title as this book. I gave the other book to Tom to read, but he stopped reading it after about ten pages because he just lost interest in the subject... but then he comes back to me with all his questions.. Ithink I need to read the book myself and explain it to him.. I even told my mother that I wanted to help him, she bought a book that explains things in english but she just hasn't posted it... I can see that this is going to be a big challenge.

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing."
on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing!"

The Tale of the Lemon Diet Coke
The wind was howling ferociously as I walked out of the Physics building after the review session this evening.. I tried to escape from the cold chills that blows fiercely around me, so I took the tunnel in Moss tower to reach home. I was strolling minding my own business when I saw the vending machine.. feeling rather thirsty, I rummaged through my bag to look for my purse and stumbled upon some coins... Sop there I was standing in from ogf the vending machine trying to decide whetehr I should get a lemonade or a gassy soda when my eyes caught the sight of the new Lemon Diet Coke.. Somehow I felt curious and decided to give it a try.. so I slot the four quarters down the machine and pushed the corresponding button. The bottle tumbled down and I quickly twisted the top and took a sip. The first thing I thought was that the lemon tastes so artificial, like the lemon that's added to dishwashing solution. My forehead wrinkled as I looked at the ingredients of the drink.. and surely enough, as disgusting as it may seem, the thing was polluted with artificial flavorings. I lifted my head up to continue with my regular journey home and there HE was.. sitting on a table in the INSIDE-OUT cafe, looking straight at me, smiling his sweet little smile, flashing those pearly white munchies! Why is he smiling at me like that? He must've been looking at me for a while.. I was momentarily stunned as I gazed back.. I managed a shy litle smile and continued walking.. As I get closer I looked at him again, he still had his eyes on me, still the same smile but this time he lifted him arm as if acknowledging to me that he is saying hi to me.. I responded back with a smile and similar hand gesture, from a distance I could see his lips move giving me a silent Muslim greeting.. I greeted him back in silence and walked away.. In my head, the chorus of Macy Gray's song suddenly pops up:
I try to say good bye and I choke,
try to walk away but I stumbled,
though I try to hide it..
it's clear..
my heart crumbles when you are not here
-Macy Gray 'I try'
I was walking about 5 steps when I realise that I do have something to ask him.. so I turned around and walked straight to him.. he saw me coming and he smiles yet again.. I wish I could freeze his smile in my mind.. we talked for about 2 minutes, I asked him a question, he answered.. said our greetings and so there I go.. [I could swear I was stuttering a bit.. I hope he didn't notice it.. "it's only a crush!" I told myself.. "nothing's gonna happen, besides cross-racial relationships are difficult!.. Did I say 'relationship'? What am I talking about, he doesn't even know my name, does he?!".. ]

**************************************************************************************************************************
Hooray!!!!
I finally received my computer today.. this was the only thing that I could think of as I was walking home from the P.Chem review session.
I am so happy.. !
Soy tan feliz...!
Ich bin so glücklich...!
Je suis si heureux...!
私はとても幸せである。!
我很愉快。!
I walked into my apartment, opened the door and there it was.. 3 boxes stacked one on top of the other with DELL printed on it in blue.. the sight that brings a smile to my face. I took everything aout and started to assemble the desktop with care.. connected it to the power supply and voila! I connected my computer to Kak Ijah's using the hub and we share the same mp3 files and printer. I spent the night exploring my new treasure.[despite the stack of unfinished homework in my bag.]
I went to sleep feeling both content and fulfilled. :)

It snowed last night.. not exactly a snow storm just yet but the temperature is definitely exponentially declining.. the wind was howling outside as I was studying at 5 this morning, and when I got out, I finally had a gist of how cold it is out there..[the weather people says that it's gonna feel like 10F all day].. I'm so glad that it's not snowing right now.. cause I hate the feeling of snow melting on my face as the wind beats out all the moisture on my skin.

Anyway, I feel so guilty for sleeping so early last night.. I'm trying to catch up with my fellow classmates on all the assignments that I'm getting.. This Peng Robinson equation of state thing is killing my brain cells..

I called up Dell last night to ask about my computer [I found out that Zack's has already arrived eventhought it was suppose to be shipped on the same day as mine].. and I found out that it's already been shipped from Austin, Texas on Tuesday and it's suppose to arrive today.. I tracked it from ups and found out that it's in Illinois and should be arriving today ..I'm so happy.. but I'm not sure if we'll be home when the packages arrive..There's a review session for P.chem exam next week today at 3 to 5.. and my roommate says that she'll be home at 2.30.. so maybe I'll get it tomorrow instead.

Today's list of things to do:
I'm going to buy a hub and a new study lamp today after class.. I also need to go get a parcel from AIRBORN EXPRESS mail somewhere in highway 169.. I'll borrow Tom's car [or just get him to drive me there]..I also need to send an email to the Alumni asociation to tell them to RSVP a seat for me and my mentor for the launching of the Mentor Program Dinner on the 13th.. plus I need to get some groceries done..

Anyway, last night I ate out with Kak Ijah, then we rented a few movies from Blockbuster and dropped by at Farah's place to print something out before we head home [Kak Ijah's computer does not have Excel]..

Personal Opinion:
Honestly speaking I think that Lalat's blog is increasingly amusing [keep it up Lalat!] while the other one's is a frigging load of crap (sorry to say but it always has been and, by the looks of things, will always be.. no improvement)..

SPRING UP .. FALL DOWN!
Yes its almost that time again.. on Sunday all the clock in Minnesota and other nearby cities will be turned down an hour.. doesn't really mean that we're losing time cause we'll get it back in the spring time when day time will be longer than night.. it's actually a good thing too cause next month is Ramadhan and all the Muslims all around the world will have to fast.. I guess it's a benefit for those who lives in the northern hemisphere cause they can break the fast an hour earlier than usual.. I remember my mum telling me once that she had to fast until 10 pm in the summer when we were in uk while my dad was doing his masters.. I'm glad I was too small to fast then.. that was about 20 years ago.. my, how time flies..

I will be having 4 midterm between next wednesday to the next one.. my friends and I were trying to fininsh off our thermo hw today.. but we ran into a lot of problems. The funny thing was that even when we went to see a TA, he didn't know how to solve it too... so we're gonna try again.. I'm gonna be busy this next coming week.. I'm gonna try my best again.. just hope I can improve my performance.

Sunny day..everything's a o.k...

I had a wonderful weekend.. especially on Saturday night..

After work on Saturday afternoon I went home and started cooking because I'm having guests over. I sort of promised Tom that I'd have lunch with him but then harrie also wants to have lunch with me.. so I decided to cook for both of them instead. Bear called me and Kak Ijah up to ask if we live close Rafique's house, which is where he is staying at because he wants to walk over here to meet us.. but it's quite far and he might get lost if he's walking on his own so he decided to go to McD instead. [besides meeting us, the main reason he wanted to come over was because he was hungry..hehhe].. I assumed that he'll be coming over with Harrie too later that day for lunch, so I went out with Tom and Otto to buy some more chicken from Holy Land and also some rice from a Chinese store downtown in Nicollet. I also wanted Zack to come and eat over too so that we could go to the dinner together. but he had things to do.. Anyway, I cooked quite alot, expecting 6 people cause I know that Zulfaa is coming too. At the end, it doesn't matter because those four guys finished all the food anyway.. they stayed over a little bit to watch football.. then Aza came over, everyone left and we went to the MSA dinner with the help of Otto. We picked up Zack and Azizi at McD in Dinkytown and went straight to STSC in Otto's black Honda.

When we got there, the first thing we saw was a bunch of Malay freshwoman sitting together on a couple of tables.. I looked at Aza, she looked at me and I think we were thinking of the same thing.. "where do you wanna sit?". We said hello to those Malays that we liked and walked to another table with friends that were familiar to us.. Aza and I sat on a table with Turkish and Pakistanian ladies and we soon became friends..I already knew the Turkish lady cause she always calls our house totalk to my roommate about their homeworks.. plus I sat next to her is the Halaqa' that I went to a few weeks back.. I'm so glad that everyone acts more maturedly [compared to last year when I went to events that only consisted of Malays and spent the whole night listening to Miss-Confused-Stage-Exaggerator practically screaming out the fact that she's craving attention, *shut your trap!*] ... Anyway, we ate middle eastern food (such as rice, lamb, chicken, beef kima, pita bread, salad etc) and listened to the MSA committe members' speeches.. then they started messing about for a while doing '3rd year freshman jokes' but it was ok nevertheless.. At around 9 something people are starting to leave.. some stayed to pray but shortly after that they left to catch the Campus Connector bus or something. We wanted to leave too at first but we were talking too gregariously with the Pakistanian, Egyptian and Turkish friends that we decided to stay.. we chatted and talked and laughed and before we knew it.. it was almost 11 pm.. so we finally left taking with us the extra Baklava, Coke and Chicken.. Aza and I went home in Romineh's car after we dropped off Aishenania.

I thought the night went well, not only did I get to see someone that I've been wanting to see [*wink, wink*], I made new friends, then when I got home I received two letters that made me even more happy.. the first letter was from Japan.. it's a wooden jigsaw postcard from Universal Studio Japan from Fahdli, and the second letter was from the Alumni Mentor Program telling me that they have matched me up with a Mentor for the next six months [until April next year].. the good thing was that this lady is also a chemical engineer who's interests are familiar to mine. I will be seeing her on 13th of November.. I can't wait! Then to make things better, Kak Ijah told me that the Seattle Mariners won the Saturday game with a really big gap in score.. [they lost Sunday's game though..]

Yesterday was a relaxing day.. cause I spent the day doing homework, laundry and just cleaning up.. I had lunch at Village Wok with some friends.. we had lobsters and scallop fish with rice. Then later that night Kak Zee hang out with us again .. we just watched baseball though.

Today while I was walking to class, I met Alif and we started talking about recent events.. then just before we left to go on our own ways, he asked me to go to the movies this weekend with him and some other friends.. so I said ok..When I got to class, Fajar told me that she's got passes to go to see the premier screening of K-Pax for free and she asks me if I wanna go with the others.. but it's tomorrow night and I have to work.. so I have to pass it this time.. maybe next time.
Then after the fluids class I saw Haz and she told me that her dad is going to be arriving in Minnesota tonight.. I might help her go to the airport.

you sang to meby Marc Anthony

i just wanted you to comfort me
when I called you late last night you see
i was fallin' into love
oh yes, i was crashin' into love
oh of all the words you sang to me
about life, the truth and bein' free yea
you sang to me, oh how you sang to me
girl i live off how you make me feel
so i question all this bein' real
cuz i'm not afraid to love
for the first time i'm not afraid of love

oh, this day seems made for you and me
and you showed me what life needs to be
yea you sang to me, oh you sang to me

all the while you were in front of me i never realized
i jus' can't believe i didn't see it in your eyes
i didn't see it, i can't believe it
oh but i feel it
when you sing to me
how i long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
and i promise you this time i'll see it in your eyes
i didn't see it, i can't believe it
oh but i feel it
when u sing to me

just to think you live inside of me
i had no idea how this could be
now i'm crazy for your love
can't believe i'm crazy for your love
the words you said you sang to me
and you showed me where i wanna be
yea you sang to me, oh you sang to me

The first time I heard Marc Anthony sing live I felt so amazed at this guy's talent.. [and such good looks too..]
Homecoming Parade!

I'm tired, bored, sleepy and hungry all rolled into one. I still have one more hour in this tiny cubicle.. I was planning to do my studying but I got lazy so I did something else instead.. this week has been my lazy week.. so I'm planning to make it an unlazy weekend..

Harrie came last night with Bear and a junior girl who wants to meet her bf here in Minnesota.. Bear and Harrie went to play basketball with Zulfaa and Zack.. then later Harrie, Kak Ijah, Tom and I went out together for dinner and movie. I was undecided about where we should eat.. at first I wanted to go to TGIF but then we saw the old Country Buffet across the street. Since nobody had ever eaten there.. we decided to give it a try.. So we paid as soon as we got in..but we were later dissapointed with the kind of food there.. Kak Ijah says it was worse than dorm food [and dorm food is bad].. nevertheless, we stuffed ourselves..[what..? we were hungry, lets consider the stomach here.. Later we went to the movies. I wanted to watch Riding in cars with boys but everyone else wants to watch From Hell.. so I compromised [well I'll go with Johnny Depp anyday..wouldn't you?] .. But to tell you the truth, I think we made another mistake of the night.. the movie wasn't all that it cracked up to be... I slept somewhere in the middle of it.. plus [just to make my point], the first thing I heard when the movie was over, was the voice of the people behind me whispering " what a load or c**p!".. we should've gone with Drew Barrymore.. toolate now..maybe I'll watch it next time..

I sort of made plans to go to Madison with harrie but come to think of it I don't think I should go.. just because I have some catching up to do with my studies and that I don't want to trouble him [he's have to take and send me back to Minne within 48 hours].. it would be too tiring anyway.. plus I think my friends in Madison have midterms next week or something.

It's my brother's 23rd birthday today.. I called him up but nobody picked up his phone..so I sent him an e-card instead.. I already sent him a real card.. I'll buy him something just before I leave for malaysia or something .. actually I might just give it to my roommate to post it when she gets back to Malaysia..

The Mariners lost the second series last night 3-2... I just hope they put up a good fight for the next series.

Amazingly, Redza called me up last night..he asks me whether I want to come over to Canada again for Christmas break cause the tickets are really cheap right now.. [I don't think so!..next time, pay for my tickets and then ask me to comeover..hehehe..]

I watched baseball again last night..it was the match between the NY Yankies and Seattle Mariners.. I enjoy watching Ichiro Suzuki do his little ritual move just before he bats and how he looks a little bit like the guy I'm having a secret crush on [when he wears his shades.]..The Mariners lost 1-3 ..
Ichiro is playing again tonight at 7 but I'm gonna be going out.. so I guess I'll watch it some other time..
My roommate is baking something in the oven right now.. it smells so good..
I had just chatted on my msn with Isham not long ago.. and I got his hp.. I've added him on my friends list.. then I met Hezir, my ex-bf from ppp... I haven't seen/chatted with him for almost half a year.. he told me that he's kinda heartbroken right now cause the girl that he loves has a new bf... [well we don't all get what we want do we?] we talked for a long time.. I hate it when he asks me about the possibility of 'us' getting back together.. I just told him that I don't think my achy-breaky heart might accept him again.. I don't know.. I guess he knows that I'll always love him somehow.. that's why he does this to me all the time.. I can't stand it when he tells me that I'm the best gf he's ever had.. please, don't remind me!

I'm feeling lucky today.. this morning I woke up and rushed to work, by the time I got there I was so hungry that I ran to the vending machine and bought myself a Big 'kitkat' bar, and as I was peeling the wrapper I found a ten dollar off coupon for anything in footlocker stamped in the inside cover of the bar. [The only thing that sucks is that I have to buy something above 50 bucks to get this 10 dollar off]..
Then I played two games of LITERATI and won both of the games.. increasing my rating all the way up to 1700.. [I should stop playing this game.. it's becoming too addictive.]

Today there will be a free preview of a new movie that's due out on the 26th October called Life as a House.. Fajar was the one who got the first free passes yesterday.. she came to class and asked everyone to join her because her bf couldn't come with her.. since I don't have anything going on Thursday night I thought that I'd just go and watch it too.. then all of a sudden Jin, who was sitting next to me at the time, asked me if I had a bf ..out of nowhere, I spontaneously replied " No, do you wanna go?" At first he started laughing, cause he thought that I'm asking him to go out with me like in a date or something so I said "No, we're all going out together".. so everyone laughed at Jin... it was so funny.. So after class yesterday I went to one of the U-Card offices to get some more passes for Jin, my roommate and an extra one for anybody else.. Tom said he wants to come to watch it too.. so I said ok.. I told Zack about this cause he called me last night and he said that he might wanna join me too at 7.00 pm in the Willey Hall tonight. So that should be fun. Kak Farah came over again last night so she knew about it too..

I met Fariz after work today.. finally remembered to give him Redza's phone number... [it turns out that Fariz's brother is Redza bestfriend in high school, what a small world.. I also just found out last weekend that Didi lives about 10 minutes from my house in Malaysia!]..

I talked to my mum last night [must remember to call my brother tomorrow and wish him happy birthday]
and she was telling me about our new house that's 90% done.. they'll be moving in pretty soon. From all of her descriptions of the house, it sounds alike a very nice place.. I'm seriously considering about going back to Malaysia this winter.. but I don't know.. This morning I talked to Adha and he told me that I might as well just stay her this winter since I've made a grand plan of going back next summer and stopping over in Japan for a week as an extended transit stop. Plus most of my close friends are going back in the summer and not this winter.. so I might as well wait a while.. maybe this winter we could go on a holiday somewhere together.. Nini and I have been making a few plans on how to spend our little breaks but we haven't confirmed yet.. so maybe since we're both not going home this winter, this might be the time to get together.

Harrie is going back to Malaysia soon.. he said that he wants to come to Minnesota before he leaves. So he called me up last night and told me that he might be coming over of Friday with Bear or something like that.. that's ok with me..

Anyway.. I have class in a few minutes.. I just need to give Pucun Mizie's email add and then I'll be on my way..

I am fasting today..
After class I finished my MatSci homework that's due next Monday.. and when I got home I baked some cinnamon rolls so that we could eat it with some tea by twilight tonight. But then I remembered that I have to go to work tonight.. so I packed it to go.. Tom came over to visit and we watched baseball together for a little while.. I wasn't really paying attention to the game.. but I know that Arizona was playing against Atlanta or something.. Yesterday Kak Ijah and I watched Seattle Mariners play agains the Cleveland Indians and we saw the Mariners won..My roommate is triggering my interests in American sports..
Kak Farah came to my house early this morning to talk about getting flight tickets to Malaysia early next year.. They found really cheaps tickets for less than $700.

'Winnie the Pooh' turned 75 during the weekend...

Even thought Monday is here once again to start off yet another hectic week [P.chem quiz on wenesday], I think I had a great weekend well spent..

On Saturday, I started off the weekend with my regular shift at the gym. [Thank God Che Wan called me up at 8am, to ask to borrow my Thermo homework, or I would've just come late to work].. Then after work I got home took a shower, payed, ate and went out to the Mall with Nad, Dia, Zam, Didi, Wafi and Baz.. I saw Che Wan, Farah, Amani and Izrin in the bus. I was only planning on buying some new body splash from 'Bath and Bodyworks' but I ended up having a shopping spree - I bought a new Esprit handbag from Nordstrum, a new wool sweater from French Connection and a pair of new thick Columbia gloves from Champs. Well I know where my next paycheck is going.. We got home sometime around 9.30pm. I met Darren and he introduced me to his friend Tony [who wore a Cornell sweatshirt, reminded me of Adrin all of a sudden].. then I went home and spent the rest of the night watching Stepmom on TNT.

On Sunday, I woke up late for a change.. I thought of baking a cake so that I can bring to the Malaysian gathering that we're having at 11 that day.. but I jjust felt so lazy that I sat in front of the television watching unsolved crimes series.. I wanted to call my parents but somehow time just flew pass me.. Before I knew it the girls over at Essex St was calling me to ask if they could walk there with me.. but I told them that I'm gonna be going by car with Abang Ghazali and Kak Zee instead.. I got ready within 10 minutes and went on my way.. Kak Zee bought in some rice and desert [which everyone just wolfed down].. Almost everyone was dressed in our traditional clothing because we planned to take a photo for the Raya celebration later this year.. Some people didn't wear it thought cause it was getting a little chilly.. overall it was a fun day with smiles, laughter and pictures.

Later my roommate and the married couple went to a global market in St. Paul.. We looked at the lclothes and decorations from around the world.. there was some clothes from Malaysia.. I can't believe they are trying to see our Malaysian clothing for 75 bucks when we could get something of equal value for 75 ringgit malaysia...what a rip off.. We didn't buy anything, though Kak Zee wanted this really nice embroided black dress....

Later we went to Cubs to buy groceries and stuff... I think we bought a year's supply of toilet paper..
We bought alot of bakery stuff that we could bake because we just found out that the oven's power supply is not included in the electric bill..

We baked some brownies last night.. Kak Zee came over to hang out with us for a few hours while her husband went to do some little stuff at the mosque..

Maria called me to make sure I am safe.. we talked for an hour about things .. the Adriana woke up from her little baby nap and we talked for a while. She wants to be a witch for Halloween.. she's so cute!

Lock came sometime later after Kak Zee left with someone else to bring over something that Isham bought.. I didn't see them cause I was too sleepy.. but I heard them talking for a while before I cpontinue to snooze away..

I did absolutely no studying this weekend.. so I woke up at 4 and finished off my MatSci homework.

I got rid of the new thingie I had before it was just messing things up.. I've also added some cool new links, just in case you get bored of all this crap after 2 seconds [ever realise that as soon as you open a history book the first thing you'll do is yawn?]..

Anyway, today is another 5am work day.. [the usual routine for a fantastic fiday].. I swear they put me in this office to freeze.. that's probably why the only people wearing sweaters in the middle of summer are people in this little cubicle.. The temperature in here never exceeds 40 F.. My fingers are turning purple.. I still forgot to get my gloves out from my winter-stuff-box .. Even in my apartment, they don't turn the heat up unless it's below 50F.. so on days when its just on the brim of 50-51F, we'd just freeze ourselves in there.. that's why I like to invite people over to my place [I'd cook a meal once in a while].. so that I can steal their body heat so that we reach a thermal equilibria of 60F.. maybe 70F.. depending on how many people are there..

Yesterday was a very productive day for me.. I finished both my fluid and thermo assignment.. and the strange thing is, those homeworks are due next week.. That is so weird for me.. [the QUEEN of procastination].. I even went to the TA's office hour yesterday - which is something I have never done in my whole life! I'm sure that I've done everything right but the figures are a little bit weird, so I'm gonna check it all with some of my friends who's finished it.

I forgot my keys again yesterday, I got home at 2pm yesterday after class feeling an urgent need to 'liquidly' exhale.. when I realise that I forgot my keys and my roommate wasn't home! I walked over to my nearest neighbours but everyone was either in class or at work.. so feeling hungry, exhausted and absolutely flabbergasted, I went back to campus to do the next best thing-study! I stopped over at McD first for a take-away lunch and then went off my way.. I started munching on the fries as I finished of my fluid homework .. after a while I was hungry no more, so I didn't even finish the Filet-o-fish .. I ate that foor dinner instead as I watched Pres. Bush's speech since yesterday was like a mark for a month of catastrophy since the terrorist attack. Fighting back is not exactly something I agree with..I mean if all they want is Osama Bin Laden and his little cronies, why should so many other innocent lives be destroyed.. what's gonna happen if the Afghans decided to say that Osama is dead but hide him somewhere else instead.. would the war be over then just because America thinks that Osama is dead? What if he really was dead? Somehow I don't think it's gonna be that simple.. Saying that they want to eliminate terrorism around the world would be impossible..

Even in stillness there is beauty and life,
Even in solitude there is happiness and love.
What you see and what you feel matters,
Who you are and what you will become, is up to you.
You are the master of your universe!





Until there is chaos, you don't appreciate the quiet.
Until there are crowds, you don't appreciate being alone.
Now is the time to reflect and realize what you have.
No matter what your lot in life,
You are unique.





Take time now to discover yourself, it's never too late.
You always have something to contribute.
If you are lonely, be a friend, share a smile.
For the hectic, find a slice of solitude no matter how small.





Life is not always as it appears,
You have the power to alter yours and make a difference

With the news of America's attack on Afghanistan, Jennifer Lopez's wedding, the death of yet another freshman in Pioneer Hall, the Anthrax disease spreading in Florida, my parents hiring a private guard for security reasons at my house in my homeland, my Thermo exam tomorrow and just about everything else that's happening right now in, out,on, under and around me, I think my tiny mind is more or less filled to its maximum capacity.

I envy Nora, my little sister. She has a month long break from UUM and she gets to go home and stay with my family. She gets to eat mum's delicious cooking, go for theregular midnight treat at the local mamak store with dad, visit the cousins and aunts, go on a shopping spree, lounge around all day, playing the PLAY STATION, have endless movie marathons all night everynight and just hang out in the sun (while I'm stuck in the mid 40's temperature and stuck between these layers of clothing!). I miss them all. I wanna be where she is! To be with her, with them right now.

Last night I dreamt that my parents moved to Hollywood and started a Malaysian restorant there. I dreamt that I was on my way to Malaysia and I stopped over for a week in Japan to visit my cousin, Suraya, and my friend, Fahdli. And somehow I got an email from my brother that they're actually in Hollywood. So Fahdli and I took the next flight to Hollywood [because he was planning to come visit me in Malaysia too.] When we got there we were helping my family settle the business up and then I met Haz (a Malay Minnesotan alumni) and she knows Fahdli too cause she's wearing a shirt that says 'I feel FADHLISTIC'. So I told her that Fahdli is at my house helping my brother decorate his room. When I got home my brother was away but I went upstairs at the attic to look at his room and it looked like something from 'Blair Witch Project' or something with scribbles on the wall about Norstradum's predictions and some high level formulas that proves these predictions were wrong all scribbled hazardly in mouldy green ink over the light brown walls.... then I woke up, the florousent alarm lights highlights 4.30am. I pressed the snooze button and slept, hoping to resume the dream, but it went away. I woke up again at 5,hoping to do an early bird study session but feeling lazy I slept on.. woke up again at 6 and slept again, again the same thing happened at 7 but I slept on all the way to 8 am. It must be a lazy day ahead . The dream was really weird, but then again it's all just a dream. So what do you expect!

So I'm back at work right now hoping that I'd get some studying done here.. but no such luck.. [why is it always buzy in the evenings?.. get your own d**n guest pass!]

Today I finally changed the name on the Excel electric bills, called up Dell and asked them about the computer delivery delay, paid my credit card bills [all 3 of them], watched 'Clueless' [the movie, actually t'is actually the first time I watched it], cooked some roasted beef ribs, ate it with mashed popatoes with my roommate for lunch,watered the plant and deceived my MatSci midterm exam paper back. I'd say that was rather productive for a regular tuesday.

REMEMBER: For an ideal gas, in a reversible isentropic process, the change in entropy is equal to zero. Thus, S(initial) is equal to S(final).

"Tell the rain not to drop!" ~ Madonna, 'Tell me', 2000.

I should start wearing gloves.

My little party went rather well last night. The roasted lamb leg and quill was delicious. The potatoes were a little hard because I didn't boil it long enough before I baked it [my mum said boil it for ten minutes, should've been 20 instead.] The moist marble cake was good too. It was great to sit around and eat together as we chat and laughed at our own jokes. Zam came a little too late because she went to the mall with her friends. The food was already gone at the time, so she just came to pay me her debts and left shortly after.

I woke up at four today.. did my fluids homework and started sorting out my bills.. I need to go to the back to deposit some cash and checks today.. I think I'll go after class. I have another midterm this Wednesday, so I'm planning to stay back and study at the EE lounge again today. Maybe I'll go home at 10 or something. I need to make a cheat sheet for the exam and finish off my fluid assignment too. I need to do it all today cause tomorrow I have to work from 6 to 11pm. I think I might be getting back some of the midterm papers from last week today. I hope I did well..

Sitting here in this evening sun.. the ray seeping through the cracks of the cream colored blinds... I looked at the reflection before me in the mirror that I placed on top of the telephone.. the wavy curls of hair across my forehead seems to highlight its brown streaks on this fine evening..
I loved my curls.. so full and lushes..I think I inherited it from my mum.. but I had been too young to appreciate them.. as a girl I had always had my hair frequently cut short in order to get rid of them.. and it does work; at the age of twelve I finally accomplished what I had only dreamed of years before that; I grew my hair waist length... I would style it in a variety of ways but my favourite style was the side braid.. I would braid the top of my hair from left to right forming a hair band of hair.. and then I'd curl the rest of my hair with a curling tong.. Going to high school in England was like entering a beauty parade.. sometimes it wasn't really about looking good.. but it was the rush of getting ready and seeing how things work out... Those times seems like a whole life time away.. things have changed so much.. nowadays I don't even have time to look at the mirror in the mornings, especially in the rush of getting to work on time.. usually I'd take a shower, pray, lotioned, get dressed, comb my hair [not that it matters whether I have combed it or not], put my scarf on, dab on some lip balm and rush out the door [with my laces undone usually].. long gone are the days of face powdering and hair curling.. It's a good thing that I'm using Proactive, my complexion is actually improving [smaller pores, less blemishes, less red of those red cheeks]
{Whitney's 'Queen of the Night' blaring in the background}
Anyway, the week has passed rather hecticly.. I survived through two midterms and retrieved the last p.chem quiz.. Things look bright.. I hope things'll improve for the better now.. ever since my last roommate moved in with me, my grades are less than what's desired... things improved enormously when she spends less time with me last summer session and I hope it will improve further more in the future.. I have myself a new set of study partners and my life is more organized now. I know the difference between friends who are trustworthy and those who are destructive.. Not long ago, at the beginning of this blog's active entries.. I tested some of my friends loyalty.. I shared my blog secret with 3 people from different backgrounds.. (i)Someone I would rarely talk to. (ii)Someone from the same gender that I think I could believe. (iii)Someone from the opposite gender that I could believe in. It's amazing that someone I actually believe in would betray me by breaking the secret by telling someone else about the existence of this blog, ironically the person I talked less to actually kept to his word. However, the world is not all at lost for I have found a true friend. [Luckily not both of the friends whom I believed in betrayed me..] Now I know who I could trust with secrets.. this is definitely the friendship that I would cherish all my life, even though this person is actually a guy.. paternal love does exist. I think I could trust this person with my life.. and I know that he's reading this and he knows who he is.[not that I've told you about this before.]
Tonight I'm celebrating this friendship.. I'm cooking roasted lamb, baking a cake and preparing the whole dish. I borrowed Nad's vacumn and Kak Ijah cleaned the house up for me while I buzied myself in the kitchen. I also invited some of my friends who lived nearby; the 4 freshman boys I went shopping with yesterday, Aza and kak Farah, Zam, Nad & Dia,Tom & Atul and of course my dear friend. I even roasted the little Quill birds just in case the lamb is not enough. I talked to my mum this morning and asked her how to roast the lamb leg, she gave me an easy cooking recipe and so I'm testing it out today.. the lamb is roasting as I'm typing all this and the marble cake is sitting in the cooling rack. I already prepared the colselaw and so the only thing left is to bake the potatoes and make the gravy. I still have about 3 hours before the guests will be arriving and so I might take that time to review my homeworks. I still have another exam next week but this weekend has been more or less wasted. I went to the movies last night.. [probably the first movie experience this semester] and I watched TRAINING DAY.. its a great movie with a twisting plot... the boys didn't understand it at first because they were convinced that the trainer was a good guy.. I had to explain the movie plot in the middle of the climax scene to them and then they finally understood..
I met quite a few people as I went shopping yesterday.. I met three Malay girls while I was in Downtown Minneapolis along with another 3 boys who I don't know their name.. then when I was entering Mall of America I saw two of the girls who used to stay with me temporarily last month, Aida and Nora and also Amilin. Everyone's loading their wardrobe with winter clothings; coats, gloves, thermal inner wear, sweaters, socks, snow boots.. I also bought a blue sweater and some new socks..


NEWS FLASH: America is attacking Afghanistan!

"I think I can safely say that nobody understands quantum mechanics." -Feynman

"…what I did can be described simply as an act of desperation… A theoretical interpretation… had to be found at any cost, no matter how high." -Planck, regarding his use of Boltzmann statistics to derive his blackbody radiation formula that solved the ultraviolet catstrophe

"From the point of view of physics in 1900, the logic of Planck’s electromagnetic and thermodynamic steps was impeccable, but his statistical step was wild." A. Pais, biographer of Einstein, regarding the above

J.J. Thomson won the Nobel Prize for showing that an electron is a particle.
His son, G.P. Thomson won the Nobel Prize for showing that an electron is a wave.

"You surely must understand, Bohr, that the whole idea of quantum jumps necessarily leads to nonsense… If we are still going to have to put up with these damn quantum jumps, I am sorry that I ever had anything to do with quantum theory." -Schrödinger

"Quantum mechanics is very impressive. But an inner voice tells me that it is not yet the real thing. The theory produces a good deal but hardly brings us closer to the secret of the Old One. I am at all events convinced that He does not play dice." -Einstein

"Can nature possible be as absurd as it seems…?" -Heisenburg regarding his debates with Bohr over the meaning of his own uncertainty principle

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." -Planck

Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You)

Come on over, come on over baby (4x)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey boy don't you know
I got something going on
I've got an invitation
Don't you keep me waiting all night long

I know, you know, so baby don't
Pretend you won't, keep me guessing if you
You will or you won't
Don't wanna play that game with you baby
Said listen to me

All I want is you, come over here baby
All I want is you, you know you make me go crazy
All I want is you, now baby don't be shy
You better cross the line
I'm gonna love you right
'Cause all I want is you

Come on over, come on over baby (2x)
Ohh...yeah yeah

I'm not just talking
About your sexuality (your sexuality)
But I can't help myself
When you put your hands on me
Ooh oh, ooh

It's paradise, when you and I
Get close, get tight
When all I wanna, go all, all night
I wanna play that game with you baby
Listen to me

All I want is you, come over here baby
All I want is you (oh oh), you know you make me go crazy
All I want is you (yeah yeah), now baby don't be shy
You better cross the line
I'm gonna love you right
'Cause all I want is you

Come on over, come on over baby (2x)
Ohh...yeah yeah yeah yeah

Don't you wanna be the one tonight
We could do exactly what you like
Don't you wanna be just you and me
We could do what comes so naturally
I got a thing for you
Got my mind made up (yeah)
And I'm serious, never been more baby
I'm sure that it's real (so sure)
And it's right here, uh come on

Come on, come on, come on, over (6x)
Oh oh oh, yeah yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

You give me...
What a girl feels, what a girl likes
What a girl needs, what a girl wants

All...I...
All I want is you
Ohh, ohh baby

All I want is you, oh you make me go crazy, oh oh (woo)
All I want is you, now baby don't be shy
You better cross the line
I'm gonna love you right
'Cause all I want is you

Ohh, ohh, yeah...
All I want is you, you make me go crazy, you
All I want is you, now baby don't be shy
You better cross the line
I'm gonna love you right
'Cause all I want is you

I had an evening nap today.. it's a rare occasion because I almost never sleep when the sun is up.. but I did today.. not saying that I'm tired or I'm ill but I just lay on my bed to read the "molecular quantum mechanics' text and I felt myself drowning into the sleepiness.. somehow I couldn't help myself this time and I surrendered into the other realm.. and so I slept... it was a short 30 minute kitty nap.. but I had a life-like dream that kept me thinking.. I dreamt that I'm married to one of the Malay students here.. it was weird because I've never thought of the guy in "that" way.. but the dream seems so real.. I dreamt that we lived together and everything.. it's nice but at the same time all the commitment makes me scared.. no, I'm not ready for that now...