ISN'T THIS JUST WHERE WE MET?

After work I went to my new apartment and felt completely out of place.. I miss my old apartment!!!
I want my spacious room and the luxury of having the whole place for myself where I'm free to do anything.. like putting my dirty laundry straight in the washing machine even though I know I won't turn it on until it's full to its rim, make a mess, have guests stay overnight, and have slumber parties with my fav. gals, turn up the music at 2 in the morning cause that's when I feel like waking up, sing my heart out in the shower, clean up only for myself (and not washing anyone else's dirty plates cause their mum never made them clean up, spoiled brat! ) and just be myself..

Tomorrow my housemates will be moving in, so tonight is my night of independence..
I shall not sleep!
I shall turn the music up (cause the neighbours are not in too)!
I shall clean up my mess and completely redecorate my new walls!
For tomorrow will come sooner than I want it to..

Moving makes you realise how much you have.. and I have a lot to give away...
Soon I'll be moving out for good.. so I need to sort out stuff to sell, stuff to give away and stuff to throw out. Sometimes I feel like I am a sentimental item collector, I keep everything.. I still have my exam papers from my calc. I class in PPP, my scratch papers from all those nights studying in the library and the small formula note cards that I'd stick on the walls of my study place (I'm sure my ex-roommates still remembers those).. I was telling WeiLin to have a wall of wisdom the other day when I went to visit her in her new room (which I'm very jealous off at this moment), so that whenever someone calls to ask for a formula she's look up and just read it out and make it seem like she had memorized it.. that would surely score some extra 'sucking-up' points with the TA's...hehhe

By the way, HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY WEILIN... We called her up at midnight and sang her a birthday tune, she later gave us the full complete version of "Where is the love?" by the Black Eyed Peas ft. Justin Timberlake which we had been trying to get for a while now.. so we love her extra for that! Nad n I went out today and bought her something from Marshall Field's and tomorrow we're going out to eat lunch together.. yesterday we already baked a marble cake with her as we were waiting to watch the VMA awards..(the one where Madonna was snogging Miss Spears and Christina A, eeewww)

Anyway, talking about music.. the song below has been my choice of song for our not-so-east-coast trip... I'd have to talk about it later.. I had a lot of fun though; we went to Washington DC, Pennsylvania (Philadelphia + Pittsburgh), Ohio and Chicago (Mexico Little Village).

Josie And The Pussycats ~ You Don't See Me

This is the place where I sit
This is the part where
I love you too much
Is this as hard as it gets?
'Cause I'm getting tired
Of pretending I'm tough
I'm here if you want me
I'm yours, you can hold me
I'm empty and taken and
Tumbling and breakin'
'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

I dream of worlds
Where you'd understand
And I dream a
Million sleepless nights
I dream of fire when
You're touching my hand
But it twists into smoke
When I turn on the light
I'm speechless and faded
It's too complicated
Is this how the book ends,
Nothing but good friends?

'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would

This is the place in my heart
This is the place where
I'm falling apart
Isn't this just where we met?
And is this the last chance
That I'll ever get?
I wish I was lonely
Instead of just only
Crystal and see - through
And not enough to you

'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would

'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could


I know Fazdlee would have considered a different song to associate this trip with.. but I kept repeating this song in my mind..

LeAnn Rimes - Please Remember

( From the album "Coyote Ugly Soundtrack" )

Time, Sometimes The Time Just Slips Away
And You’re Left With Yesterday
Left With The Memories
I, I’ll Always Think Of You And Smile
And Be Happy For The Time I Had You With Me
Though We Go Our Separate Ways
I Won’t Forget So Don’t Forget
The Memories We Made

Please Remember
Please Remember
When I Was There For You
And You Were There For Me
Please Remember
Our Time Together
When Time Was Yours And Mine
And We Were Wild And Free
Please Remember Please Remember Me

Good-Bye, There’s Just No Sadder Word To Say
And It’s Sad To Walk Away
With Just The Memories
Who’s To Know What Might Have Been
We Leave Behind A Life And Time
We’ll Never Know Again

Please Remember
Please Remember
When I Was There For You
And You Were There For Me
And Remember Please Remember Me

Please Remember
Please Remember
When I Was There For You
And You Were There For Me
Please Remember
Our Time Together
When Time Was Yours And Mine
And We Were Wild And Free
Then Remember Please Remember Me

And How We Laughed
And How We Smiled
And How This World Was Yours And Mine
And How No Dream Was Out Of Reach
I Stood By You, You Stood By Me
We Took Each Day And Made It Shine
We Wrote Our Names Across The Sky
We Ran So Fast We Ran So Free
And I Had You And You Had Me
Please Remember

Sebenarnya hati ini cinta kepadamu,
Sebenarnya diri ini rindu kepadamu,
Tapi aku tidak mengerti mengapa cinta masih tak hadir,
Tapi aku tidak mengerti mengapa rindu belum berbunga.

Sesungguhnya walaupun ku kutip semua permata di dasar lautan,
Sesungguhnya walaupun ku siram dengan air hujan dari 7 langitmu,
Namun cinta tak 'kan hadir,
Namun rindu tak akan berbunga.

Ku cuba menghulurkan sebuah hadiah kepadamu,
Tapi mungkin kerana isinya tidak sempurna, tiada seri,
Ku cuba menyiramnya, agar tumbuh dan berbunga,
Tapi mungkin kerana airnya tidak sesegar trelaga Khausar,

Sesungguhnya walaupun ku kutip semua permata di dasar lautan,
Sesungguhnya walaupun ku siram dengan air hujan dari 7 langitmu,
Namun cinta tak 'kan hadir,
Namun rindu tak akan berbunga
Jika tidak mengharap rahmatmu
Jika tidak menagih simpati padamu Ya Allah

Tuhan, hadiahkan kasihmu kepadaku,
Tuhan, kurniakan rinduku kepadamu,
Mogaku tahu syukurku adalah milikmu.
~ Sesungguhnya - Raihan

What a Small World

I was wrapping someone's birthday gift this morning. As I was cutting the celotape and turning the box around I started to think about last Tuesday night when I skipped sleep cause I was chatting with Hemy, her mum and her bf from USC. I was trying to remember why the name Hemy sounds so familiar to me. The only other name that's familiar is Nur Hamy, but that is my cousin and I know what my cousin looks like.. so she can't be my cousin.. Then I remembered that night someone asked what's Hemy's full name and I remembered auntie saying that because her husband's name is short and simple, she gave all her kids two names. So her daughter's name is Hemy ~Something~ Halim. So I automatically assumed that all her kid's' name started with H.

Later we started talking about Malaysia and auntie was talking about an area very familiar to me.. it turns out that she lives in DU, and could easily relate to Nad, Dya and my residential housing area cause we all live in the TTDI, DU, DJ, and KJ area. That should have been a tip off for me but I still couldn't match up the clues.

I asked Nad yesterday if Hemy has any other siblings, and she said that Hemy is the only daughter of the family and she has an older brother and two younger brothers. Still nothing..

But all of a sudden this morning I thought of Hemy and auntie's eyes and I am so sure that those eyes remind me of someone so dear..
Then it hit me.. and I flipped over my old photo album, the one of me in Prince Edward Island and my trip to Nova Scotia in Canada two years ago...
Redza!! How could I have forgotten.. ??

And now it's all coming back to me; I've seen those light brown eyes on Redza, I've seen family pictures of Redza with Hemy, his parents and their little brother, Hadi. Nad was mistaken, he only has one younger brother. I don't know why I didn't think of it before, Redza was just chatting with me a few weeks before asking me when I'm coming back to Malaysia so that we could meet up again and catch up on our friendship. Redza did talk about Hemy, and I've seen pictures of their family road trip around the east coast when he used to study in Virginia, just before Redza came over to Minnesota to meet me that summer. And now Redza is going to see me in his sister's and mum's latest west coast road trip pictures. What a coincidence.. I can't wait to tell him about this!

I called Dya and asked for more details on Hemy to confirm my suspicion, and every piece of the puzzle just fits right into the whole picture. Auntie has my Malaysian address, and left us hers'. She even invited me over to her house when I'm back at the end of this year. It would have been such a shock if I had no idea of all this and met Redza at auntie's house. I'm glad I realized it now. I'm sure he's going to laugh at all this when he hears about it. What a small world, talk about coincidence....

Tegap papan kayu bersegi,
Sampan tersekat di Pulau Patani;
Indah tampan bahasa sejati,
Izinkanlah daku berpantun begini..

Pungut teritip di liang batu,
Batu pecah dilanda karang;
Beginilah nasib dagang piatu,
Rindukan halaman teringin pulang.

Buah berangan di rumpun pinang,
Limau kasturi berdaun muda;
Sepintas lalu daku terkenang,
Belayan mesra keluarga di sana.

Letak bunga di atas dulang,
Sisipkan daun hiaskan tepinya;
Banyak berdoa selepas sembahyang,
Mohon diampun dosa di dunia