By the power vested in me, I declare that this blog will be unattended to indefinitely!

I know I should stop this right now and get my head stuck in a book, but that seems quite impossible when I'm at work.. every time I flip a page over there's always someone staring at me, with eyes full of hope and questions.. so I'd set my book aside and tend to their needs and by the time I start again, the cycle continues.. good thing Chad is here too, so we switch turns whenever someone comes over. I'm only here for a short while tonight, so I'll be leaving in less than an hour..

Anyway, just when you thought you've had enough with weddings.. Joe met me this morning and asked for my address cause he wanted to send out his wedding invitation when he gets back to South Dakota.. So now Joe and his girlie, Angel, the nurse, is getting married in Soth Dakota on the 12th of June.. I think I might be able to attend this one actually, it'll give me a reason to go to Mt. Rushmore too.. plus, it's the first time I've ever been invited to an American wedding, it'll be an experience.. come to think of it, I have never been to a non-Malay wedding.. It's kind of funny cause out of the 6 in the gang (me, Fajarrani, Joe, Jin, Vikesh,and Kamar), Joe is actually the youngest, he's not even 22 yet on his wedding day.. but he's the first of us to have a job and a family of his own.. I wonder if the others will attend the wedding too.. I'm not sure if Kamar, Jin and Fajarrani is going to be in Minnesota in June. Joe will be leaving Minnesota next Thursday.. I think we will be going out to celebrate our graduation on Wednesday night, just before Joe leaves, which could also be our last outing together, in fact it could be the last time we'll ever see each other. I'm sure we'll exchange addresses and emails.. so after this if I should have a place to stay if I ever need to visit South Dakota, Canada, South Korea, Indonesia, or India.. hehe..

I bumped into Ryan and he called me for a chat, he was only suppose to come to the bookstore to get pencils for the final exams but somehow he was in a talkative mood.. I don't even know when I started to be friendly with him but he just wouldn't stop talking.. so he asked me about my future plans and stuff.. and somehow we told me all about his family and everything.. he was really friendly, he told me that he was accepted in 5 different grad school and he's finally going to go out of Minnesota and study in MIT for his doctorate.. He told me that out of the 7 grad students from the CEMS department, everyone is going to different Universities so he's trying to catch up to some of the friends he made during the University tour that he went to in March and wanted to find roommates.. he'll still be at the U finishing off research this summer so we'll still see each other at the gym and stuff.. Surprisingly, he wasn't invited to Joe's wedding.. but then again he told me that he had just started getting close to Joe recently.. I thought that he's going out with Roxy but he told me that he doesn't have 'a significant other'. So his trip to the bookstore to get a pencil had stretched to an hour, I just couldn't find a polite way to stop the conversation.. but we finally stopped talking when I saw my friend.. Oh.. well..

It goes without saying, but I'm gonna say it anyway.. I won't be updating for a while due to exams, but I'm sure after this is over I'll have tonnes to say.. [plus pictures too.. ]

GOOD NEWS

I received another wedding invitation.. Congratulations to my friend from Form 3, Ezwan Elias and his newly converted fiancee, Azieliana Ying Abdullah (A Sabah girl) on your wedding on the 6th of June in Sabah and on the 20th in Perak.. I won't be able to make it, but I wish you all the best.. may your future together be filled with love and happiness..

This morning Maria called and told me that Abang Rezal, Maria and Adriana will be coming to my graduation ceremony.. I am so happy, Alhamdullilah.

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN..

Finals are approaching in just a couple of hours, I sincerely feel that I am not ready for it just yet.. I've been 'under the weather' for the last few weeks and things took a leap at the down turn this last weekend, and so I haven't had time to prepare myself as much as I would like to.. so instead, I'm currently considering taking the Process Control exam next Saturday [which is the original date scheduled, but everyone was pesking Prof. Kumar to make it earlier, so he decided to put up two dates for the final.. at first only 2 people signed up for Saturday, instead of a week earlier, but now the number is gradually increasing]..

Healthwise, today I'm feeling a lot better than yesterday and I pray that I will be in good health during my finals. I finished registering for my summer and fall semester classes, and signed up for shifts at work. I am currently applying for directed research with some Prof. in the Chemistry Dept. I would like to begin that in the summer, InsyaAllah.

Yesterday, I received two parcels (Americans call it 'packages').. one is my new camera, and the other one is the outfit which I plan to wear to the Midwest Games Dinner. It arrived all the way from China, and even though I gave my measurements to the tailor, it still needs fixing, but the good news is that it fits quite well and I already have a matching skirt to go with it. I'm still undecided about what I'm going to wear to the Commencement Ceremony this Friday, at first I thought of wearing a suit but after looking at the previous senior's grad photos, I know that it might not be a good idea.. my mum made some suggestions, and right now I am inclined to that but I'm not gonna worry about that too much.. [first I need to decide if I want to take the exam this Friday or next Saturday].. By the way, everyone's invited to attend the graduation ceremony. It will begin on Friday, May the 9th at 7pm at the Northrop Auditorium, Minneapolis East Bank campus.

Good luck to everyone taking exams..
start it with "Bismillah", read your questions carefully, answer as best as you can, end it with "Alhamdullilah" and tawakal..

Daripada Sheikh Ahmad - Madinah, Saudi Arabia,

Pada suatu malam ketika hamba membaca Al-Quran di makam Rasullullah s.a.w. selepas hamba membaca lalu tertidur. Dalam tidur, hamba bermimpi Rasullullah S.A.W. mendatangi
hamba lalu bersabda:-
"Dalam 60,000 orang yang meninggal dunia di zaman ini, tak seorang pun matinya dalam keadaan yang beriman.
1. Isteri tiada mendengar kata-kata suami,
2. Orang kaya tidak lagi bertimbangrasa kepada orang miskin.
3. Ramai yang tidak berzakat dan tidak lagi berbuat kebajikan.

Sampaikan kepada orang-orang Islam ini, supaya membuat kebajikan kerana hari penghabisan akan tiba di mana:-
1. semua bintang akan terbit dari langit, sesudah itu pintu langit akan tertutup.
2. tulisan dalam Al-Quran akan hilang.
3.Matahari akan turun di atas kepala.

Pesan Hamba :-
1. berselawatlah untuk junjungan kita Nabi Muhammad s.a.w
2. bertaubatlah dengan segera sementara pintu taubat masih terbuka.
3. janganlah derhaka kepada ibu-bapa.

IT'S NEVER EASY.. FOR THOSE LEFT BEHIND

Lay your burdens in His hands,
for He is strong.
Rest your head on His shoulders,
for He is compassionate.
Give to Him your pain and sorrow,
He is love.
Pray that His love will comfort your sorrowing soul.

I just talked to Maria (my cousin's wife from Ohio) and she had just passed me then news of her father's death. Actually I had talked to Rezal a few hours earlier when everybody was at his in-law's house. Maria's dad had been unconscious since last Friday and he lost his sight a week ago.. then when he gained consciousness he could only speak and listen as his sons and daughters greeted him.. all of the relatives came from all over the place as they heard the news last week.. from Texas and Florida, as well as those in the Ohio region. He passed away at 4.30am this morning.. two years ago when he had a kidney failure, the doctors predicted that he only had a month to go.. but he proved the doctors wrong, and this time he proved them wrong again when he managed to hang on for a week instead of the one day that the doctor had predicted.. he finally died of old age at the age of 80 years old (His birthday is in March 1923). He is the first generation of Spanish immigrants who came to America.. whenever I visited him before I ended up trying to speak Spanish cause he couldn't understand English.. Usually I get everyone to be my translator but sometimes it feels rude to speak to an elderly in such an indirect manner, so I tried my best.. His funeral ceremony will be held on Wednesday.. I'm not gonna force Maria, Rezal and Adriana to come to the Commencement Ceremony cause I'm sure a 14 hour drive is not exactly what they'd want to go through after an emotional funeral ceremony. If they can't make it I understand.. I think I'm gonna go visit them this summer, it's been over a year since I went to Fremont anyway.

Actually, I had a dream last night that someone very dear to me had passed away.. I woke up sweating, with tears in my eyes and my nose blocked.. I felt that I had spend the first few hours of the morning with a 'snot rag'.. my sneezing symptoms have turned to flu, and so I was really weak this morning.. I only felt better when I heard the voice of my friend, the one who I dreamt had died the night before, on the phone [maybe my telepathic cries were heard]... I took my medicine and fell asleep as the television was playing Walt Disney's classic Beauty and the Beast.. had another nightmare about my parents forcing me to marry one of their friend's son.. they had planned it prior to my knowledge and when I returned home, the house was decorated and my sisters were busy helping my mum in the kitchen.. the guests started coming and I asked around about why they were there... then I went upstair towards my bedroom and found one of my ex trying to hit on me [much to my disgust].. things took a really weird turn when everyone was gathered in the living room and my dad called out my name so that he can make the grand announcement and then as I walked pass the guests, my ex whispered something and I got so mad at him that I told my dad that he was harrasing me, and right there and then my dad got my future husband to arrest him.. it turns out that my parent's friend's son is a policemen.. there wasn't really an ending.. I just couldn't remember what happened next... it was an awful scene !! Now I'm scared to fall asleep again.. I wonder what I'll dream next, it must be influenced by all these drugs I'm taking right now [Tylenol]

JEJAK KASIH
Remember the TV3 hit show jejak kasih where old lost family members or friends are reunited after being separated by bizarre events in their life like twins mistakenly separated at birth, family members separated during the war, adopted children tracking down their parents and other related separations like that.. well recently, I experienced my own jejak kasih, though of course my experience is not being commercially publicized.. it is still a bizarre occurance. When I went to UK in 1990, I lost contact with my close friends from SSP.. and we even when I returned back to Malaysia in 1995, I no longer have their address and phone numbers and so we didn't contact each other.. Things took a strange turn for me after I returned back from Europe cause after that I no longer went to class with people who are the same age as me.. so then I made new friends and never had a chance to track back the old ones from SSP. Then I signed up as a member of the kawanaku.com thing where you are categorized based on which batch you were at school and last week, I got an email from one of my very close friend..

It seems like a dream.. I was so excited upon hearing from a long lost friend.. it has been 13 years since we last communicated.. [13 is a lucky number :) ].. I got an email from her asking me if I still remember her..

A'kum..
Hai! Pe kaba? Kenal lagi tak? Zuriati Mazlan, 4 kiambang tahun 1990. Kite pernah main getah sesama dulu ngan Nurul Faeizah, Siti Fathah... hehe...Qeemnoor ingat tak? Lama yekk kite tak jumpa. Since you pindah ke luar negara. Masih di sana lagi yekk? Zue skang masih blaja di UKM, Bangi. Insya Allah bulan 10 nie abis ler. Kalau ingat lagi, balas ler mail nie yek. Bleh sambung semula persahabatan yg tlh terputus. Jumpa lagi..babai...

A short but very meaningful letter.. I replied immedately upon receiving the email.. I was so happy.. so then later we kept replying emails each one asking the other about what had happened to us since we parted.. we have 13 years to catch up on.. I wonder what she looks like..how the others looked like.. who's married, who's not.. bla-bla-bla... there's a million questions I wanted to ask.. how time have changed us.. Allah is all mighty..who would have known that we'd get together like this... I told her that I am no longer in UK but I'm now in America finishing off my degree, and she told me that of the 5 of us in the group, Siti Fathah got married last May, and the others are still single. They more or less still keep in touch with each other and comes to visit during Raya and other holidays.. I miss them so much, now I wish I could go back this summer for a visit.. it's such a great surprise cause this girl is not just merely a girl from the batch, in fact she is one of the gang I was talking about once.. I told my mum about it when I had my weekly chat with her, she couldn't believe it either.. there's definitely going to be a reunion this december.. I can't wait to see how we've all grown.. it'll be like one of those YA-YA sistership thing... heheh..

Anyway, talking about uniting people together.. I heard that my ppp roommate will be getting married this month, my cousin is getting married next month in Malaysia.. our family [on my mother's side haven't had a wedding in almost three years, and so this one is said to be a beginning of a string of other marriages since most of my cousins, me included, are in the age range of 20-30 years old].. Namie, the bride to be, is 29 and her other sisters are 27, 24 and 20.. then Mak Lang's boys are 29 and 28, she also has two girls in this age range at 25 and 20.. Mak Uteh has another unmarried daughter who is 22.. In our family, mama's prince is 25 and her princesses are 23 and 22.. Mammi's daughter is 24 and her son is 22.. Then Chu's son is 22.. Uncle Chop's sons are 26, 24 and 22.. On my dad's side, only my dad is the only one who doesn't have grandkids yet.. to some of the kids on my dad's side, my grandma is not just a great-grandma.. she's a great-great-great-grandma.. that means that I am some kid's great-grand-aunt.. it's no surprise then that the president of the senior's batch in MRSM Beseri is one of my nephews.. amongst his friends, I'm called "MakCik Press".. isn't it ironic.. hehhe..

I remember when I was in high school and my friends and I had one of those slumber parties in my room [like you do in boarding schools] and we were talking about the future.. we got to the part where we discussed how many kids we would like to have
when we have our own family.. some said that they don't want a lot, a few will do, while some wanted a big family.. one that sticks to my mind is this small-sized girl who wanted to have 20 kids.. she said she wanted to have one each year for the first 20 years.. it sounds silly and we were all hysterically laughing at what we thought was her exaggerated number.. slowly one by one we stopped laughing as we realised that she was actually serious.. it was hard to believe that she wanted a big family since she is the only child, but she revealed to us her future fantasy.. she said she wanted a big family, with enough boys to form their own soccer team, and enough girls so that they could help her take care of the household chores.. we interrupted her occasionally asking her questions on how she would feed and care for her kids, she said that in terms of responsibilities, she will discipline her kids such that they will be more or less self sufficient and be able to help each other.. then in terms of feeding them, she'll have maids to help her initially and thing'll be like a boarding school and they will eat together and stuff.. and then her family will each have 20 kids each and the next generation will open up their own business and professions and stuff and after a while after generations and generations, there will be so many of her offsprings that people will trace things back to her.. we were all flabbergasted after listening to her explanation.. [wow..]

Got this from a dear classmate, Habib Abdullah Fikri, from MRSM Beseri. Stuff in the [ ] is my own comments from my analysis.. [you don't wanna just believe everything right?]

THE FOLLOWING IS A CHINESE GOOD LUCK TANTRA TOTEM.
You may not believe in this but the advice is great! Read all the way down, you might learn something!!!

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
[It makes you look like you're sincere even if you're not, at least everyone else is happy, even if it's at your expense, but of course it would've been better if you're sincere cause you'll get merits for the after life at the expense of your temporary misery, if it was a misery]

TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
[I agree but it might also be wise to consider the other points too]

THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
[This is only true sometimes, cause (i) people are sometimes prone to exaggerations when they talk, (ii) spending all you have could lead you to poverty and (iii) sleeping too much, especially during the day, would make your eyes puffy and could lead to premature aging from unwanted wrinkles. heheh.. a little beauty tip there. :)]

FOUR.
When you say, "I love you", mean it.
[As my favorite group, The Corrs, sang "Don't say you love me, unless forever, Don't tell me you need me if you're not really there, Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it, Make it real, or take it all away"]

FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
[Don't know how this would make things better, maybe it makes you look like you mean it, and makes it easier for the other person to forgive you. That is, if they don't scratch you instead.. catfight!!]

SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
[Or don't be engaged at all, what's the difference between being engaged and being a serious steady significant-other nowadays? If you have been together for 6 years, isn't that like being engaged for 6 years, why wait another 6 months, just move on already, will ya?]

SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.
[But don't expect too much..]

EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
[emmm, o-kay.. whatever makes you sleep at night, buddy]

NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
[Experiencing heartache(s) don't exactly make you feel like life is complete, but it might teach you the value of love, I repeat 'it might'.. ]

TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
[Please don't, you'll really look bad yourself.. ]

ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.
[Don't judge people at all, period.. there's enough prejudice people out there without you adding to the statistics.]

TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.
[Don't talk too slow though, people might not realise that you've already thought about it already. ]

THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
[That's good, answer a question with a question, that should get those nosey fools off your back]

FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
[That's 'great' with a capital G]

FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
[No! That's not right, instead you should wait/remind for them to say "Alhamdullilah", so that you can say "Yarham Q'allah"]

SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
[Yeah, we should always learn something from everything]

SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.
[It's all about R.E.S.P.E.C.T]

EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
[This only applies to 'great friendships', if you feel that your friend is just using you, it's really not worth it, don't slump down to their standard, you know you're better than that..]

NINETEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
[But always remember that prevention is better than cure, avoid making a mistake if possible]

TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
[Yeah, as the Carpenters sang "Smile, though your heart is aching, Smile even though it's breaking, when there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by if you smile, though your heart is aching, smile even though it's breaking, you'll see the skies are clearing now.. if you just smile...."]

TWENTY ONE.
Spend some time alone.
[And when you've had enough pick up the phone, hey that rhymes. But I think as Michael Jackson says "You are not alone, I am here with you, though you're far away, I am here to stay" .. to which I would say "Stay away Michael, leave me alone. Can't you see that I want to be alone" but then again this scene never really did happen, I don't think he was specifically talking to me when he says that he's 'here to stay' even though we're 'far away'..]